Mine Would Be You Read online

  There are two limos waiting for us outside the church ready to take us to Grayson’s grandparents’ farm, where the wedding reception is being held. The happy couple travel in one, along with their doggies, and the bridal party go in the other. It’s beyond awkward riding in the limo with Tucker beside me, resting his arm behind my head along the seat and sitting as close to me as possible, with my sister Camryn on the other side of me, and then Lawson directly across from us. I swear it feels like his eyes are burning through my body, and I notice a snarled look on his face as Tucker something that makes us all laugh.

  His tough-guy-who-feels-nothing act had held up pretty well so far today, but in this limo, I’m beginning to see tiny fractures in his hard exterior.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  It’s now two hours into the reception, and the party is in full gear. We lucked out and the rain has held off, so the photographer has gotten some amazing shots. Grayson’s Pop got out his vintage Ford truck and we all took some fun pictures around it.

  Playing model was a fun distraction, except when I had to be close to Lawson, who by the way has barely spoken two words to me since we arrived at the reception, and it’s driving me absolutely crazy!

  Right now, I’m dancing with Tucker, and thanks to one too many glasses of champagne, I’m a tad tipsy. I’m glad I asked Tucker to be my date, because he’s helped keep my mind off what Lawson is doing…or who he’s trying to do. I’ve caught him flirting with random girls who were invited because Grayson or Delilah knew them from college. I, on the other hand, don’t know them, since I wasn’t there with them the last two and half years thanks to Lawson and all of our bad judgment the night of the accident.

  I lost count of how many times I caught him grabbing a chick’s ass tonight on the dance floor. It took everything in me not to toss my heel at his damn head.

  Arrogant bastard.

  How dare he mess with my head like he has? I was doing just fine until his ass rolled into town for this wedding.

  “So are you having fun?” Tucker asks. I blink a few times, pushing the thoughts from my mind, and try to focus on him instead. We’re dancing to a slow song with his arm wrapped tightly around me, his hand pressing against the small of my back and the other holding mine in the air.

  Tilting my head up, I smile at him genuinely. “Yeah, I’ve had a blast so far, but I think I’ve had just a tad too much to drink though. I’ll be feeling it when tomorrow rolls around.”

  He nods knowingly in agreement. He too has had quite a bit to drink tonight. His cheeks are flushed red from the heat inside the tent, and he has the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. He screams manly, and his arms, which are the size of my head, have every girl in here eyeing him.

  Which only makes me feel more foolish. He’s clearly gorgeous, and funny too, then add on the hot firefighter factor and you’d think my panties would be scorched straight off my body with just one glance from his smoldering bedroom eyes, but nope. Not a thing.

  Not. A. Damn. Thing.

  Lawson can glance at me without the slightest interest on his face and my body lights up and is yelling at me to go to him. It’s infuriating, to say the least.

  Tucker’s hand begins to navigate south as his tongue darts out to glide across his lips.

  Oh no. No. No. No.

  I know that signal. Lip-licking leads to lip-on-lip action.

  Damn, damn, damn!

  Am I sending the wrong signals? I’ve said we’re just friends so many times I swear I sound like a damn parrot!

  And here it comes.

  I freeze like a deer in headlights as his hand squeezes my ass and his mouth moves towards mine.

  His lips brush against mine gently at first, with a hint of caution to his movement, and then turns into a harder kiss. His eyes are shut and mine are wide open. I’m stunned.

  Before I know what’s happening, I feel Tucker being ripped away from me, causing me to stumble forward and lose my balance. I catch myself on the couple dancing beside us. It’s dark inside the tent, with the only lighting being the thousands of twinkling lights throughout the ceiling of the tent and the floating candles on the tables.

  I spin around just in time to see Lawson gripping the back of Tucker’s dress shirt, yanking him across the dance floor.

  Holy shit!

  “Keep your fuckin’ hands off of her!” Lawson shouts as he releases Tucker and gives him a shove, making him stumble backwards a few feet.

  Tucker pushes his sleeves up again, which had begun to slip down his arms, and lets out a loud sigh of frustration. “What the hell is your problem?”

  I feel awful. Tucker has no idea the history between Lawson and me, and I willingly pulled him into a mess he had no idea about.

  Looking around the room, I see everyone is now staring at Lawson and Tucker, who’ve converted the dance floor into a boxing ring.

  “You groping Emelyn and putting your lips all over her is my problem. You’re lucky I don’t knock your fucking teeth out. You wouldn’t be able to flash that pretty-boy smile anymore, would ya?”

  Oh my God.

  Lawson’s face is beet red, and his neck muscles are sticking out as his temper flares. He looks pissed right now, and like he’s one second away from attacking Tucker. Tucker isn’t small, and if these two start fighting, someone will get seriously hurt, along with everything around them being destroyed.

  Tucker looks from Lawson to me with his brows furrowed as a look of complete confusion plasters across his face. “What the hell are you talking about? I thought you two were just friends?”

  My brain finally snaps out of the stunned state it was just in and my feet begin to move towards them. I hold my hands up, waving them at Lawson while yelling, “Leave him alone, you Neanderthal! What the hell is wrong with you?! I cannot believe you’d actually cause a scene like this at your sister’s wedding!”

  Delilah is charging across the dance floor, holding her dress in her hands and shouting at them, “You two get the hell away from each other right now!” She looks rightfully pissed off, and I’m suddenly sick with guilt. I should’ve known this would happen.

  She just had to suggest I attend this damn wedding as Tucker’s date, didn’t she?

  “You can’t seriously tell me you want this shmuck over me?” Lawson asks, waving his hand from his chest towards Tucker.

  I shake my head in disbelief.

  “You’ve lost your damn mind.”

  He is the one who walked away from me the other night. Does he not remember this?!

  “I don’t want you or him. Tucker and I are just friends. That kiss you rudely broke up was nothing but a simple, drunken misunderstanding!”

  Delilah grabs onto Lawson’s arm and tugs him towards the exit, and I follow a few steps behind. I look back over my shoulder and see Grayson is talking with Tucker, and everyone else seems to be going back to enjoying the party.

  This sure as hell will be a night none of them will forget.

  Lawson and Delilah come to a stop at the exit of the tent. She folds her arms against her chest and glares at Lawson before turning her eyes on me. I’ve never seen her so pissed off in my entire life.

  Finally, she opens her mouth to speak after staring us both down and pacing in front of us for what feels like forever, but is probably just thirty seconds, settling her stare on Lawson. “What is wrong with you? In case you have forgotten, you kissed my best friend three nights ago, then left her a crying mess on her parents’ doorstep. So where in the hell do you think you get off on causing a damn scene at my wedding, because God forbid Tucker kissed her?!”

  I swallow the lump lodged in my throat as I wait to hear what his response will be.

  Lawson nervously rakes his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry. God, I fucked up big time. I know I have no right to be pissed off.” His eyes have moved to me now, and I feel myself soften slightly under his gaze. “I only walked away from you the other night, because I thought it was the righ
t choice to make. Seeing him with his hands all over you and then kissing the lips I was just kissing a few nights ago made my blood boil. I let my anger get the best of me and before I knew it, I was yanking him off of you. I held my temper; I didn’t lay a hand on him, no matter how badly I wanted to. Believe me—I really wanted to.”

  “Ughh! You two hash this out. I have a party to get back to. I will only warn you once. Brother or not, if you do anything else to cause a scene here tonight, I’ll never forgive you.”

  With that, Delilah storms back over to the dance floor to find Grayson.

  I rub my hands over my face and sigh with frustration. Dropping my hands, I look up to Lawson. “I can’t believe you did that. I understand your frustration, but that was so uncalled for and a million times more embarrassing than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Now this entire town is going to be gossiping about me.”

  Without saying a word, he grabs my hand, pulls me outside, and leads me down the long, grassy hill to where the trees meet the field. My heels keep getting stuck in the grass, so I hop on one foot as I yell at him, “Will you slow down? I need to take these damn heels off!”

  Slipping off my shoes, I hold them in one hand while Lawson continues to hold the other.

  We’re a good twenty feet or more away from the party. It’s a safe distance from everything, so we can talk freely without the neighborhood gossipers eavesdropping on us arguing.

  “God, Emelyn, I feel like I’m losing my freakin’ mind,” he murmurs as he releases my hand and slides them into his hair, fisting his long locks between his fingers.

  “You and me both! I was doing all right until you waltzed into town and messed everything all up. Why? Why are you being like this? You’re confusing the hell out of me. It isn’t fair. I’ve been through enough and finally felt like I was doing okay, and then you come back and stir things inside me I didn’t want to ever feel again.”

  “Why? Really? Let me tell you why. I love the fuck out of you, but I’m also smart enough to know I’ll bring you nothing but pain, and I refuse to cause any more pain in your life. You’ve experienced enough to last you several lifetimes! You can’t even look at me without seeing the fuck-up I am. I’m a walking reminder of everything you lost, and you’re a walking reminder of everything I want but can’t fucking have! Loving you is both exhilarating and crippling. I feel as if without you, I’m nothing...only a fraction of myself. But then, when we’re together, I feel selfish and like I’m causing you more harm than good, because our past will always be hanging over us.”

  I don’t know how to respond to that. It’s as if I’m looking at myself right now as he tells me how he feels. I feel the same way. I love him, but at the same time, hate him. There’s so much past and pain between us that I don’t know if we’d ever survive as a couple. There’s this looming feeling inside me that says we’re destined to do nothing but completely destroy each other, which is why I’ve stayed as far away from him as physically possible over the last four and a half years.

  But seeing him these last two weeks, it’s almost as if all that pain has slowly disappeared, and left in its place is a fragile heart starving to be nurtured and loved. I believe with enough love it has a fighting chance to grow strong and rebuild the love we once had. If we both fight hard enough, we could actually have that eternal happiness everyone dreams about.

  “Lily died. That is something we can never change no matter how badly we want to go back in time and fix it. As for you fucking little cheerleading twats while I was stuck at home with a broken leg, well yeah, that is on you, and it hurts a lot still to this day to think about, but that’s in the past! I am done dredging up the past! I just want to move on with my life. I wish to God I could hate you. I really, really do. Life would be a whole hell of a lot easier if I could, but I can’t. For some reason unknown to me, I love you just as much now as I did then. I understand you were hurting. We were all hurting.

  “Lily was my best friend. But it was an accident, and no matter how many times you try to twist it up inside that head of yours, you never intentionally set out to kill her that night. We are all responsible. We chose to get in your truck and face the consequences. Do I wish I could’ve stayed in Tuscaloosa with you and Delilah? Sure, but I couldn’t. I made the best of a really messed up situation. I love my job. I love that Delilah came back here after graduating, but the only thing missing in my life is you.”

  I’m gasping for air as I try to come down from that massive speech I just gave. My head is spinning as I try to let it sink in I just really said all of that to him. Everything I’ve said to myself for so many years, I’ve finally spoken out loud.

  Resting his hands on his hips, he leans against the tall oak tree behind him and drops his chin to his chest as he stares down at the ground. “You say that now, but what’s to say we give in and try again, and then it blows up in our faces? I have two regrets in my life, Emelyn. The first is getting in the truck that night, and my second is watching you leave and doing nothing to stop you. I’ve loved you for almost my entire life. I want nothing more than to have you, but my life is in Tuscaloosa. Your life is here. How would we ever make this work?” His head tilts up and the pain of his words hit me as I stare back at him.

  Why does life have to be so complicated?

  Taking a few steps towards him, I reach out and press my hand to his chest. “The only thing I care about is you and me right now. In this very moment, everything else is irrelevant. We’ll worry about it tomorrow. For tonight, I just want to be with you. If you don’t want me, tell me now and I’ll walk away, but from the way you practically ripped Tucker’s shirt straight off his body, I think it’s safe to say you want me. The idea of any other guy having me is eating you up inside, just like the thought of you with another girl makes me feel sick. I can’t promise it’ll be easy, and I can’t say I won’t get insecure sometimes and have my moments where I break down and probably want to beat you over the head with something, but there isn’t one single person out there who can say they’re perfect and haven’t messed up one time or another in their lives.”

  I don’t get to speak another word, because Lawson’s hands fly up to grip my face between his hands as he crashes his lips to mine. Our kiss instantly explodes with intensity as he kisses me hard and passionately. All the pain, sadness, and anger is being crushed and disintegrated away between our lips.

  My hands grasp at his back as he pushes off of the tree and moves his hands to my ass, squeezing it as he deepens our kiss. We can faintly hear the music from the reception making its way down to us and the sound of gentle raindrops hitting the leaves above us.

  I know there’s a hundred or so people just up on top of that hill, but right now, I don’t care. The danger of being out here with him only excites me more.

  I wrap my arms around his neck and murmur against his lips, “I need you now,” before his tongue darts into my mouth. It tastes like cigarettes and champagne.

  He takes a few steps before setting me down and dropping himself to the grass. We’re hidden behind the large tree, and excitement courses through my body as the reality hits me of what we’re about to do. At any moment, anyone could come looking for us and find us back here.

  The large tree shields us from the rain starting to fall around us, but I don’t think we could care less if we got soaked to the bone. The only thing I can think about is feeling him inside me finally after four very long, excruciatingly painful years.

  We always had the best make-up sex.

  “Come here,” he demands as he gets to work undoing his belt and opening his pants. He pushes them down just to his knees, and his dick, which is already hard and ready, bobs before him under the moonlight.

  I take in a shaky breath and quickly slip my panties off, tossing them at him. Lawson flashes an impish grin at me before grabbing them off his stomach and stuffing them in his trouser pocket.

  “I cannot believe we’re doing this,” I whisper, suddenly shy as I
step over him and drop to my knees. I feel the head of him, hot and wet, poke at my entrance, and it makes me shudder.

  I bite down on my lip as I grab at his shirt and slowly take him inside me.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you…missed how you feel wrapped around me.” His words come out hoarse and low as we both try to remain as quiet as possible.

  His hands slide under my dress and stop at my bare hips. I begin sliding up and down his length and bite harder onto my lip as I try to contain my moans. I don’t know if anyone is outside, and would die of embarrassment if someone caught us.

  “Ohhh,” a light moan flies from my lips as I rotate my hips and begin to pick up my pace. He feels amazing, his dick stretching and filling me perfectly.

  He squeezes my thighs and chuckles between moans, “Shh, baby…we gotta be quiet.”