Mine Would Be You Read online

  “He’ll freak out, sure. Any guy will. But I think he’ll be okay after it sinks in. He loves you, Em. He’s always loved you. I can’t promise you he won’t mess up once in a while, but you gotta give him a little leeway, ya know? I love you both and want to see you guys happy.”

  I hope she’s right. We always talked about having children when we were younger. I can only hope that having a baby this soon after getting back together won’t ruin our relationship. Hell, he lives over an hour away. We have two completely different lives now.

  My head begins to spin again as I feel panic consuming me once more.

  “I’m not feeling too good. I think I’m going to take a nap—but thank you for coming over and talking to me, and for helping me when my stupid ass fainted.” I laugh as I try to shake the nervousness consuming me. I need to try to unwind and de-stress.

  Patting my leg, Delilah stands and gives me a sympathetic smile. “You rest. I’m going to run to Walmart and grab you a pregnancy test so we can know for a fact if you are pregnant or not.”

  “Thanks, girly. You’re the best. I don’t know what I’d do without you. One thing we know is, if I am pregnant, this baby is going to have the world’s best auntie.”

  That brings a smile to her lips and I find myself smiling also. “You got that right. All right, you get your butt in bed and rest. I’ll be back in twenty!” With that, Delilah disappears out the door, and I pad across the carpet into my bedroom and quickly crawl into bed. I don’t realize I’ve fallen asleep until I hear the sound of knuckles knocking on my bedroom door. “I’m back!”

  I was enjoying that nap way too much, and I’m not ready to make this final just yet. Rolling over, I pull my comforter over my head, ignoring her.

  “Rise and shine, sunshine! Time to tinkle so we know baby—or no baby.” Before I can even get a second to protest, she’s beside my bed, pulling the covers off of me.

  “Okay, okay, I’m getting up,” I mumble under my breath as I roll off of the bed.

  I snatch the plastic grocery bag out of her hand and use every ounce of willpower in me not to smack the bossiness out of my best friend with it.

  Slamming the bathroom door, I lean against it and dig the box out of the shopping bag. My mind is racing a million miles a minute as I read the words PREGNANCY TEST. It says I’ll know if I’m pregnant or not pregnant in less than three minutes. This is going to be the longest three minutes of my life.

  With shaky hands, I tear open the box and plop down on the toilet. I sit staring at the test, getting lost in my thoughts, until I hear the ever-persistent Delilah slamming her knuckles on my bathroom door.

  “Just pee on the damn thing already!”

  “How do you know I haven’t peed on the damn thing already? Can’t a girl pee in peace?”

  “I know you too well, Em. Pee on the fricking test so I can start the timer on my phone…oh, and by the way, my brother wrote a gazillion text messages while you were sleeping. He’s legit freaking out, because you’re bailing on him this weekend. I wouldn’t doubt it if he’s on his way over here right now.”

  Fan-freakin’-tastic.

  Okay. You can do this. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s positive? No biggie.

  Who the hell am I kidding?!

  This could send Lawson running for the fricking hills. He goes from single, to girlfriend and dad in zero-point-two seconds.

  I push my fears into the back of my mind and pee on the test. Setting it on the bathroom sink, I wash my hands and shout to Delilah, “I’ve taken the test. Mark three minutes on your phone.”

  I barely get the last word out and my bathroom door flies open.

  “Timer is set!”

  “You’re being a little too chipper about all of this. You know this is pretty damn huge. If I’m pregnant, I may pass out again from the lingering panic attack I had earlier. To top it off, you’re telling me your brother is probably on his way here. Right. Now!”

  Laughing at me, she grabs my shoulders and shakes me gently. “Take a chill pill, girly! Wow. You’re wound up tighter than a damn yo-yo today. Believe me. Everything is going to be fine. You worry too much. Just think—if you are pregnant, it’s perfect timing! Seeing as Grayson and I are trying for a baby right now too. We can have little baby besties!”

  Her excitement is not contagious, and instantly, she pouts at me, taking extra care to really get her bottom lip out there.

  “Pout all you want, but I can’t be excited about this. If I’m pregnant, my parents are going to kill me! There’s a big difference between you and me here. One: You’re married. And two: You’re in a stable relationship! Me, on the other hand? I’m back together with my ex-fiancé who cheated on me four years ago and broke my heart, and I’m not married!”

  Waving her hand out at me, she blows through her lips and rolls her eyes. “Technicalities. Your parents love Lawson. It’s not like you guys can’t get married right away if you are pregnant. That way you’re married before the baby comes.”

  I think my eyes just rolled out of my head and onto the bathroom floor.

  “Marry your brother, like…now? Whoa! Slow it down there, wanna be sister-in-law. We’re still on rocky ground here, with a lot of kinks to work out before I throw on a white dress and pledge my life to him.”

  Shrugging her shoulders, she says, “Well, if you guys would’ve taken five seconds to throw a damn condom on, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right—” Her words stop mid-rant as her phone begins beeping in her hand, alerting us that our three minutes are up.

  Oh, my God.

  Oh. My. God.

  I can’t do this.

  No way in hell can I look at that test. I think I’m going to hurl…

  “Holy shit!” Delilah screams as she grabs the test from the sink. She knows me so well that she takes it upon herself to look. My hands are sweating and my stomach is flipping more than pancakes at freaking IHOP.

  “I’m pregnant, aren’t I?” I choke on the words as I force them out of my mouth.

  Turning to look at me, she holds the test up in the air as her face shifts from tan, to sheet white, and then to a slight crimson. Taking me by surprise, she begins squealing like a damn banshee and hopping around my bathroom like a lunatic.

  “You’re pregnant! With my little niece or nephew! Holy freakin’ shit!”

  Holy freakin’ shit is right.

  I feel numb as my body slides down the bathroom wall and I come to rest on the cold tile floor.

  I’m going to have a baby.

  Lord, help me…

  Lawson and I are going to have a baby.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Delilah doesn’t hang around long, due to her and Grayson having dinner plans with her new in-laws, now that they’re home from their honeymoon. It gives me lots of time to think.

  I don’t know why, but for some crazy reason, I find myself wandering to thebump.com website I saw in a Parent magazine I was reading one day while bored at work. The next thing I know, it’s been over an hour and I’ve now seen that the baby is like a grain of rice, my expected due date, thanks to my last period, and read up on the mile-long list of symptoms new moms in their first trimester can suffer from.

  The loud rumble of a motorcycle outside causes me to jump in my seat and drop my phone onto the floor.

  Fuck. Shit. Fuck!

  Lawson! I forgot to text him back I got so preoccupied. And the words, “He’s probably already on his way here,” now ring loudly in my head as the sound of Lawson’s fists banging on my door vibrate throughout my condo.

  Thanks, mommy brain!

  Wonderful. I’m only four weeks along and already losing my damn mind.

  “Leave the door on the damn hinges, will ya?!” I’m grumpy. So be it. I’m allowed to be, seeing how I learned some pretty life-altering news not even an hour ago.

  Unlocking the door, I yank it open as Lawson’s fist hovers over the doorway.

  “Emelyn! What the hell is going
on?” he demands as he pushes his way into the house.

  My brain gets slightly off track as my eyes roam over the muscular perfection that is his body. It’s been a long five days, and Mama is horny.

  Ugh! What is wrong with me?

  Pushing the naughty thoughts to the back of my mind, I shut the door and spin around, greeting Lawson with the biggest smile I can force at the moment.

  “Nothing’s going on…why do you ask? And why are you here?”

  His head shakes as his face grows crimson and his brows push together. He does not look happy.

  “Why do I ask? Well, let’s see, because my girlfriend blows me off, claiming she doesn’t feel well, and then ignores my texts and my phone calls? I think that alone explains why the fuck I’m here!”

  I hold my hand up at him while resting the other on my hip. I’m suddenly feeling defensive, when I have no reason to be. If I say I am ill, he should understand I was sleeping, so in turn missed his flood of texts and calls.

  “For one, I am sick. I actually fainted…”

  “You fainted?! Did you go to the doctor’s?”

  I shake my head. “No, I didn’t. I work for a doctor. I knew I was fine—I just overdid it is all, when I should’ve been resting. Anyways, your sister was here when it happened and insisted I ‘keep my ass home’—her words exactly—and text you to let you know I wouldn’t be driving to Tuscaloosa today. So, I did. As soon as I wrote you, she left and I laid down for a nap. I had my phone on silent so I wouldn’t be disturbed and, in turn, missed your text messages and phone calls. I appreciate you being the caring boyfriend and rushing to my side when I’m unwell, but I’m not some delicate flower who needs to be cared for. I’ve done just fine on my own these last four years.”

  “Wow. Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” Hurt flickers in his eyes as my words come out before I can stop them.

  My emotions are all over the place, and I’m sadly taking it out on him when he doesn’t deserve it.

  “I’m sorry. God, I am coming off like the wicked bitch of Alabama right now. It is really sweet you came, Lawson. I know you’re trying, and the last thing I want you to feel is like you’ve done something wrong.”

  With quick strides, I walk across the room and into his arms. I rest my cheek against his chest and hold him tightly in my arms, hoping he’ll forgive me for being so mean.

  His arms rest at his sides at first, but then a slight sigh blows against my hair and I feel his hands come to rest on the small of my back as his lips press a kiss to the top of my head.

  “You’re forgiven. I think the wicked witch of Alabama is the perfect description of you five seconds ago,” he teases with an amused tone. “At least you’re not covered in warts. That’s a plus.”

  Pushing out of his grasp, I bite back a smile and playfully smack him on the chest. “Shut up, asshole. Here I was feeling sorry for you.”

  His fingers reach out for me as a sexy smirk plays on his lips, but I move quickly and escape his grasp. “Get over here, woman. I need to do a full search to make sure you’re not hiding any big, hairy warts anywhere.”

  My laughter bounces off the walls as I run into the kitchen in a failed attempt to escape his wandering fingers. I feel his arms wrap around my waist as he scoops my body up off of the floor and pins me against his chest.

  I can’t contain my array of giggles as his scruff tickles my neck as his lips trail a path of kisses along my skin. My flesh tingles everywhere he touches, and the feeling of his teeth lightly nipping at my neck sets my body aflame.

  “I’m suddenly feeling better, if you are serious about strip searching me.”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice, darlin’. My balls have been aching for days. They’re begging to be put out of their misery.”

  With long, quick strides he carries me into my bedroom and falls onto the bed. He releases the embrace he has on me and allows me to roll onto my back.

  As he leans over me, hovering only a kiss away from my lips, I reach up and slide my fingers through his auburn hair that’s hanging in front of his face, shielding his eyes from me. I need to see him, look into his eyes, and allow the love that’s always burning inside his irises for me to shine down on me. My body is wound up tightly and my head is going through an assortment of emotions, but one thing that is a constant is how madly in love I am with this man.

  His phone ringing in his pocket breaks the moment. I can tell he’s as annoyed as I am. Ignoring it, he leans down, brushing our noses together. “Whoever it is, they can wait. You take priority right now. I have a sick girlfriend who needs extra tender love and care, so she’ll feel better.

  For a split second, I find myself wondering who was calling.

  A friend?

  An employee?

  An ex?

  Possibly a fuck buddy?

  The nagging voice in my head tries to distract me and feed my insecurities, but I push my worries into the back of my mind. I refuse to allow my insecurities due to the past affect our future. Lawson wouldn’t be here with me right now if he didn’t want to be. I believe him when he says he loves me. We’ve lost four years. I know deep in my heart he won’t do anything that’ll cause him to lose me again.

  Now, with a baby on the way, I need to build my trust in him if I want to truly be happy with him. It’s going to take time, but I need to do what Delilah said and give him a real chance. Allow him to make mistakes, because they’re inevitable, and leave room for him to try to fix the wrongs he’s done.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispers against my neck as he kisses and sucks on it, working his way up to my mouth.

  I tilt my head back and arch my back as I feel his fingers slipping under my sundress, moving tantalizingly slow along the inside of my thigh.

  Erotic sounds fill the room as his fingers finally work their way inside of me and his mouth connects with mine. His kiss sets my body tingling from head to toe, making my toes curl as he works my body only the way he can. I feel my orgasm already coming within seconds of his fingers fucking me and his thumb teasing my clit just the way I love it.

  My moans fill his mouth as his lips stay firmly pressed against mine.

  Within seconds, we’re tearing each other’s clothes off, and he asks me to lay beside him on the bed.

  A shiver of awareness courses through my body as I feel his fingers graze my nipples, gently teasing them before his mouth comes down and takes turns teasing each breast. My eyes flutter shut as I bask in the feeling of his mouth and fingers caressing my body. His touch is soft and loving with a hint of roughness, giving me the perfect concoction to send my body floating away into a sea of ecstasy.

  “Roll onto your side.” His voice is husky and laced with sex as his breath hits my ear, followed by his lips sucking my lobe into his mouth.

  Doing as I’m told, I roll onto my side, pressing my back to his front. I open my legs, giving his hand full access to every part of me. I feel the bed move as Lawson leans over it, getting into his shorts he discarded onto the floor a few moments ago. Seconds later, he’s back beside me, and the sound of a bottle cap popping open makes my sex clench and desire pool between my thighs.

  My core tightens with yearning as I feel two fingers slick with lubricant suddenly massaging the entrance of my ass.

  “I’ve dreamt of fucking this ass every night since I came back to town.”

  No man has ever had sex with me that way besides Lawson. Guys brought it up over the years, but I always refused. I wanted to hold onto at least one thing that would always be mine and my old Lawson’s. Since we’ve gotten back together, we’ve played around with toys, but he’s not pushed for us to take it to that level again. Now tonight, he is, and I, for one, cannot wait.

  “Oh, God…” I moan as his fingers slide from my clit to my ass, teasing me. The lubricant is heating with his touch, making my body ache to be fucked. We’ve made love enough times these last few weeks. I’m ready for a night of raw passion, especially after the
day I’ve had.

  “You want me to fuck your ass, baby?” he asks with a sinful and seductive tone.

  I nod slowly and force the words out, “Yes. I need you to fuck me, Lawson.”

  Not wasting another second, his fingers slide into my ass and begin massaging me as they move in and out. I bring my fingers to my clit and start rubbing small, firm circles as I chase my next orgasm. I try to clear my mind and ease myself so that my muscles will relax, giving him the green light to give me everything he has.

  My breathing is growing rapid and my moans are coming faster as I feel my orgasm growing closer. Before I can climax, his fingers leave my body, and I feel him stroke his dick and hear the tear of a foil packet, followed by what I’m guessing is him rolling on a condom.