Tempt My Heart Read online

  Everyone looks around the classroom in total confusion. What the hell just happened? I pick-up my Blackberry, sending the text I typed back Roxie. Not two seconds later, my phone vibrates again. It’s a text from Cane.

  Cane:

  A plane just crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings in NYC! Then another into the 2nd tower just now! They’re all saying on the news it’s a terrorist attack.

  I don’t even realize I’m letting out a loud gasp, until I notice everyone in the classroom is staring at me. I shift my eyes back down to my Blackberry, re-reading Cane’s text. Setting my phone back in my bag, I take out my laptop and quickly pull up the internet. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Breaking News reports with photographs of a plane flying right into one of the World Trade Center buildings!

  Someone else in the class must have gotten a text from a friend or relative too, because like me, they also have their laptop out since we are teacher free, and discovered the same thing. Everyone is huddling around their desk watching the Yahoo News video clips.

  You can see the towers engulfed in flames. I feel my stomach instantly turning into a ball of knots. I can’t stop thinking about all the people in that building. Did they get out safely? Who did this? Why would they do this?

  Our attention is diverted back to the front of the classroom as our teacher burst through the door with tears running down her face. “Everyone, collect your things and head down to the library. There has been a terrorist attack in New York City.”

  Quickly collecting our things, we head to the library. Walking into the large room, I immediately spot Roxie sitting at one of the tables. Hanging my bag on the back of a chair, I sit down beside her and take her hand in mine.

  Everyone’s watching the news on the television. The news broadcast is showing the burning buildings; smoke transforming the skies above. People are jumping out of the windows trying to escape the fire.

  I reach into my bag for my phone; I text Cane back as the tears start to fall down my face. I cannot fathom why anyone would do this. It’s horrific watching these people, so desperate to escape the flames, jumping twenty or more stories!

  Me:

  We r in the library now watching the news. This is horrible. I think everyone in here is in total shock. Where R U?

  Cane:

  I’m at my dorm still; I didn’t have classes this morning. I’m watching the news right now too. This shit is scary; I cannot believe terrorist hijacked those planes. The people who were on those…it’s so sad.

  Me:

  I know; I think half the school is in here right now. I can’t stop crying. I can’t believe they were able to do this. I can’t imagine how many people are hurt or worse :/

  “Oh. My. God!” One of the teachers standing beside me gasps. I look up at the television. Shock takes over as I hear the words leave the reporter’s mouth. Another plane just crashed into the Pentagon.

  Reaching for my hand, Roxie grips it between hers as we watch the news together. We’ve heard about terrorist threats, but never thought it would happen here. We see it on the news about suicide bombers in Iraq and other places with conflict. But we could never imagine that it would ever happen where we are.

  Sadly, now we know that isn’t true.

  May 28, 2003

  Cane’s first two years of College have been tough, but we’ve gotten through it. I think it actually made our relationship stronger. We made a point to get together at least every other night, and spend every weekend together. I would usually stay at his Frat House on the weekends, or his parents’ house when he decided to come home for the weekend.

  I’m excited to be finished with school. I officially became a high school graduate four days ago! I’m not sure what I want to do yet. I love music; I play the guitar, violin and have sung in the choir all through high school. The idea of going to college to be a music teacher has been playing on my mind.

  I got a part-time job as a waitress at Ocean Side Dive, one of the local dive bars along the beach. Cane has tended bar there for the last two semesters, so he helped me get the job. The pay is lousy, but tips are good.

  They make us all wear short boyshorts and bikini tops; thank God I eat healthy and exercise!

  I’m 5’6” and very curvy in all the right places. So guys tip well. My father is Latino and my mom Irish. As a result, I have tiny freckles on my petite nose, full lips, almond shaped brown eyes and naturally tanned skin. My skin gets even darker after spending all summer at the beach. God blessed me with good sized breasts and what Cane describes as the perfect ass.

  He hates that I have to dress so skimpily, but he knows I can handle myself. If anyone gets happy hands, I’ll quickly put them in their place.

  Ever since 9/11 Cane has been talking a lot about the “War on Terror” as President Bush describes it. U.S. Troops have been in Afghanistan fighting Al-Qaeda since a few weeks after the 9/11 attacks. America lost thousands of people that day. It’s been nearly two years, and it’s still heartbreaking to think about.

  Cane still has two more years of college to go before he can graduate with his business degree, but he has been talking with a lot of people at Ocean Side Dive and his father about the war. I’ve heard him mentioning a few times that he wants to enlist in the Army. He wants to fight against the terrorists who attacked the United States. I’ve actually heard a great deal of people saying the same thing since the United States was attacked. It scares the living crap out of me, hearing him talk like that.

  I appreciate all the men and women serving our country, protecting and keeping us safe, and trying to prevent something like that from ever happening again. But I’ve seen so many news reports about soldiers being killed or missing in action.

  I don’t want that for my life; living in fear that one day I’ll be told Cane was killed overseas. I want to join Cane at the University of Miami in the fall, finish our schooling and get out there into the working world. I want to get married, have kids and grow old together. But I am starting to lose faith in my happily ever after with Cane.

  August 1, 2003

  Lying in Cane’s bed, I look around his room at his trophies sitting on the shelves he proudly displays. With dread, my eyes land on the stack of boxes on the floor in the corner. He’s finished moving all of his belongings out of the Frat House, but I still cannot believe he enlisted in the Army, and dropped out of college.

  Attending the University of Miami with a scholarship has been his dream. It’s been a huge achievement for him; he lives and breathes basketball, and I have loved sitting on the bleachers watching him play.

  It’s heartbreaking to know he is giving it all up. He says he feels he has an obligation to our country. ‘To Serve and Protect’. He thinks joining the Army is the right choice for him. I have cried more tears over the last few weeks than I have my entire life.

  For tonight, Cane just wants to focus on us and tomorrow he leaves for basic training in Georgia. Just the thought of being away from him for ten weeks is killing me. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to handle it.

  Starting classes in two weeks without him won’t feel right. It helps that Roxie was also accepted to Miami, but it won’t be the same. I’ve always envisioned Cane walking me to my first college class. Now, he’ll be thousands of miles away.

  The feeling of Cane’s lips on my shoulder brings me back to the here and now. “Please stop thinking about tomorrow, Brittan. We have one more night together. I want to spend it with all of you. Not just a fraction of you.”

  Rolling over, I gaze up into Cane’s sparkling blue eyes. It makes me sad to think I won’t be able to do this every night. I try my best to smile, though I can’t help but feel devastated. I run my fingers through his hair, twisting it around my fingers, “I’m going to miss your hair; I love it all long and shaggy.”

  “It will definitely take some getting used to. Right now, I could care less about my hair. All I care about is being with you.”

  I couldn’t a
gree more. Eager to taste his kiss, I pull his lips against mine, instantly getting lost in him. Opening my mouth, I allow his tongue full access. Letting out a small moan, I push on the back of his head showing him just how badly I want him…need him. I need him to kiss all my worries and fears away.

  Caressing my bare thigh, he makes his way up under his t-shirt I’m wearing. I love sleeping in his t-shirts; being wrapped in the scent of his favorite cologne. I told him I’m keeping this one to sleep in, until he returns home. Running my nails along his back, he slides in between my legs, working his hands along the side of my stomach. Pulling away from my lips, Cane stares down at me. He looks so gorgeous, but he hates when I tell him that. He says it makes him sound like a “freakin’ chick” but I just laugh it off. I don’t care; he is the sexiest most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  “I love you.” I whisper as a single tear escapes the corner of my eye.

  Cane reaches up and with the pad of his thumb, wipes the tear away. He gently flutters a path of kisses from the corner of my eye, down my cheek and to my neck, leaving a path of fire along my skin. Within seconds, he has his basketball shorts off and on the floor. I sit up, allowing him to pull his t-shirt over my head. He quickly tosses it onto the floor beside his shorts.

  “I love you more, Brittan.” He always says that, every time I tell him I love him, he always says ‘I love you more’. It still gives me butterflies.

  We spend the entire night making love until the sun comes up. I don’t want to close my eyes and welcome sleep. I’m holding on to the hope that maybe, if I don’t fall asleep, tomorrow won’t come.

  After showering and having a quick breakfast, Cane grabbed his bags and loaded them into the trunk of my Chevy Cavalier. We drove to the airport in complete silence until I turned up the radio to drown out the thoughts buzzing around in my head.

  Cane laced our fingers together, rubbing the top of my hand with his thumb. A small smile forms on my face, as tears run down my cheeks. I love it when he does that; he knows it helps me relax. Although I know deep down he’s a wreck right now too, he’s doing everything he can to be strong for me. He knows how bad I am with goodbyes.

  I cried my eyes out when he moved across town to attend college two years ago. Now he’s leaving the state, and soon he’ll be deployed. It’s overwhelming; I miss him already, and he hasn’t even left yet.

  Standing in the middle of the airport, it feels like I’m standing outside of my body looking down at myself; watching as everything plays out in front of me. Cane’s standing before me with a nervous smile as he gets ready to go through the security check. I try to lock this memory of him in my head, with his shaggy dirty blonde hair falling over his eyes. I’m going to miss running my fingers through it when he returns, and it’s all buzzed off.

  He only has a few minutes before he will need to go through security and board a plane taking him to Georgia for basic training. My head is telling me these few weeks will go by fast, but my heart is yelling at me to beg him not to go.

  Blocking out the world around us, I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face against his chest, taking in the smell of his body wash and cologne. I can’t stop the flow of tears that are now escaping my eyes, and I refuse to say goodbye. Instead, we decide to tell each other ‘I’ll see you later’.

  “You make sure you call me every chance you get, it’s the only thing that’ll keep me from totally losing my mind.” I say as I finally work up the strength to speak. A voice comes over the loud speaker, informing everyone flying to Atlanta International that it’s time to board the plane.

  “I will, I promise. It won’t be so bad; you’ll be too busy with school to miss me, and you have Roxie. These next ten weeks will fly by in no time.” Kissing me one more time, Cane releases me from his embrace and swings his bag over his shoulder.

  Wiping away the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hands, I manage to form a tiny smile. “I hope you’re right, because I am going to miss the hell out of you until you come home.” I blow him a kiss as he turns to walk away.

  As I stand in the middle of the airport trying to let the fact that he is really doing this sink in, someone bumps into me, knocking me out of my fog. Sliding my hands over my face, I let out a slow, shaky breath and made my way over to the giant wall of glass windows and stare out at the plane Cane just boarded.

  A small part of me wishes that he would run off the plane, and tell me he changed his mind. Then we could walk out of here hand in hand, talking about how our year at college will be. But that never happens and I sadly watch the plane move down the runway, and it soon disappears in the afternoon sky.

  July 4th 2004

  It’s been almost a year since Cane joined the military. He’s only home for a few weeks before he deploys to Afghanistan. I’ve been a nervous wreck since he broke the news to me last week. Terrified does not come close to describing how I feel. I’ve been trying to distract myself with work, and spending every chance I get with Cane.

  Since he’s been home, we’ve had almost no time for just the two of us. We’ve had to go to each of our parents’ house for dinner. Matt and Dalton have called almost every day to get together, either to go surfing or fishing. Roxie and Matt finally gave in to what they’ve been fighting since high school, and are finally together. So at least when they want to hang out with Cane and me, Roxie is there to keep me company.

  We’ve spent the day out on the boat; it’s been in the nineties all week, and I couldn’t wait to get into the water. The boys took turns driving Matt’s speedboat and pulling us all on the inner tubes. After a few hours of tubing, we parked the boat for the boys’ to fish while Roxie and I read soap opera digest and gushed over Nick Newman.

  At the end of the day, we pulled into the marina and walked down the boardwalk decide on a restaurant. Tonight is the annual fireworks show at the beach. We want to grab something to eat and then head down to the beach with our chairs to find a spot by the water to watch the display.

  Today also marks four years since I first met Cane. Before then, the 4th of July was always one of my favorite holidays…but now it’s definitely number one.

  After stuffing ourselves on fried shrimp, burgers and fries, we head down to the beach. The guys are carrying our chairs so Roxie and I can race each other down to the water. I was excited to see the spot where Cane and I met was vacant. Dalton surprised us with a box of sparklers that we lit and swirled around the air while waiting for the fireworks to start.

  I’m sitting on Cane’s lap, with him holding me tightly against his chest while I rest my head on his shoulder. We are watching as the fireworks shoot off, one after the other. There’s something about the loud boom of the fireworks and the fizzling sound as the colors explode across the night sky that’s takes my breath away. The guy hosting the fireworks comes on the loud speaker to wish us all a Happy 4th of July, and announces that it is time for the Grand Finale.

  I can feel Cane wiggling as he tries to slide out from under me. I stand up to allow him to get up and plop back down on the chair. “Where are you going?” I ask, “It’s the Finale!”

  My jaw hit the sand, as I take in the image before me. Cane is down on one knee, pulling a ring out of his cargo shorts; transforming this moment into something extraordinarily special. Even more amazing is the fact that there are about a hundred fireworks going off above us.

  Roxie is bouncing on Matt’s lap, screeching with excitement.

  It’s hard to see in the dark, but with the glow from the fireworks, I can somewhat make out the ring he’s holding. It completely takes my breath away. It’s a small diamond with two butterflies on each side. The butterflies have tiny rubies in their wings and tiny diamonds along both sides of the band.

  Taking my hand into his and holding the ring up with the other, Cane stares into my eyes with so much love it’s astounding.

  “Brittan Nicole McKenna; four years ago I met the most beautiful, funny, and charismatic woman right her
e in this very spot. After four years of calling you my girlfriend, I now want to be able to call you my fiancé and then my wife. You are my best friend and my rock. You’ve stayed by my side through everything and supported every decision I’ve made, even if it wasn’t the one you wanted me to make. I want to spend every day, for the rest of my life, falling more deeply and madly in love with you. Please say you will be my wife?”

  Covering my mouth with my free hand, cries of joy erupt from the deepest part of my soul. If I could pick the perfect proposal, this would be it. I gaze up at the night sky watching the fireworks spread across the sky. Turning my eyes back to Cane, I can’t help my scream, “Yes! Oh, my God Cane, I cannot believe this!” With shaky hands, he carefully slides the ring onto my finger. I can’t control my excitement and tackle him, making us both fall on the ground.

  “You’ve just made me the happiest man on earth.” Cane leans down, kissing me with so much passion and love; I get a little giddy.

  “No, you’ve made me the happiest woman on this entire planet!” I say into his mouth, happily kissing him back. Our moment is celebrated with explosions of bright, vibrant colors mixing and dancing together in the skies as we are surrounded by our friends and total strangers clapping and cheering for us and offering their congratulations. Cane climbs to his feet, extends his muscular arm and reaches for me. Taking his hand, he helps me stand; I can’t help but blush as I brush the sand off my body. Everyone is still staring at us as I quickly wave and sit back down in the lawn chair.

  “The ring is just perfect Cane, I love it!” Gazing down at my left hand, now donning the most beautiful ring I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  “I was hoping you’d love it; I’ve been saving up for months to get it. I know you love butterflies and the rubies are for July; the month we met and now the month we got engaged.” Taking my hand into his he pulls it up to his mouth; fluttering gentle kisses over my fingers and hand. A thousand butterflies invade my stomach at once, as our overpowering love and commitment rushes through my veins.