Tempt My Heart Read online

  Cane was right, planning the wedding has helped distract me while he’s away. I’m hoping to get everything done as quickly as possible so once I know when he’s coming home all I have to do is set the date. We plan on getting married at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden. It’s absolutely breathtaking there. My parents helped cover the fee to hire a wedding planner, and she’s been a life saver by helping with the venues and all the details I didn’t even think about. Without her, I’d be completely lost.

  Who knew planning a wedding could be so much work and stressed doesn’t come close to explaining how I’m feeling right now.

  We’re on Christmas break from college, so I’m enjoying not cramming for tests. The last few weeks have been insane. Roxie and I spent every night studying, and when I received my tests back with B’s, I was happy. Hell, I didn’t get any A’s like Roxie, but I’ll take a B any day!

  With Cane overseas putting his life on the line, it’s hard to focus in school. Especially when I see all of his friends on campus, and I’m reminded that he’s not here with all of us like we’d planned. I was so excited when Roxie and I were accepted into the University of Miami. We imagined ourselves, Cane, Dalton and Matt all together partying it up on the weekends at their frat house, making tons of amazing memories together. I wish every day that 9/11 never happened that so many loved ones didn’t have to leave us to go fight this war on terror.

  I try to keep myself busy with school and work and distract myself with planning our wedding. I am counting down the days until his year deployment is over, and he can come back home to me.

  After a long weekend, I’m thrilled to do absolutely nothing but chill on the couch with Roxie tonight. Since Cane deployed, we’ve jumped back into our weekly Monday night ritual: popping popcorn and curling up on the couch together to watch The O.C. and swoon over Seth and Ryan.

  “Hey, biotch, can you grab me a coke?” Roxie asks poking me with her toes while her eyes stay locked on the show.

  Rolling my eyes, I let out a loud sigh and tossed a handful of popcorn at her. “You’re lucky I’m thirsty, or you’d be shit outta luck.” I tease as I sprint into the kitchen, laughing as she tries to retaliate and toss a handful of popcorn back at me.

  I pad across the kitchen and grab us each a can of Coke from the fridge, just as I plop back down on the couch I hear my cell phone vibrating on the coffee table. Setting my soda down, I dive for my phone, hoping its Cane calling. It’s so hard with the time difference to catch each other at a reasonable time. Either he’s calling me at four in the morning or almost midnight but I’ll risk running on two hours of sleep if it means I get to talk to Cane and know he’s okay.

  Roxie sits up and pops her soda open while shooting me a questionable glance and mouths, “Cane?”

  I glance at my caller ID, normally it’s a long foreign number, but instead I notice it’s a Miami number, one I don’t recognize. Shaking my head no, I quickly answer, “Hello?” with uncertainty in my voice.

  I hear a deep masculine voice come through the other line, “Hey! Brittan?” The guy says with question in his voice. His voice sounds familiar, but I just can’t place who it is.

  “This is she…” my voice comes out sweetly as I flash a smile to Roxie while shaking my head.

  Roxie pokes me with her toes again and whispers, “Who is it?”

  Shaking my head and raising my shoulders, I whisper back while pressing my hand over my cell, “No fricking clue.”

  The man on the other line snaps my attention back to him and instantly I realize why his voice sounds so damn familiar. “Awesome! I called the bar and got your number from one of the bartenders working tonight. She refused to give me your cell number at first, but I can be very persuasive.” I can’t help but laugh at the cockiness in his voice. “This is Holden, from Beyond Redemption. We have a gig this weekend at the Ocean Side Dive, and our singer Tara just broke the news she’s going to have to quit the band due to some personal reason. We heard you can sing pretty fucking well and thought maybe you’d be interested in singing with us this weekend. It would be sort of an audition if you’re down for it?”

  Holy shit!

  Bouncing up and down on the couch, I smack Roxie’s leg as I try to vocalize something…anything right now!

  Sitting up, Roxie grabs my arm and shakes me as she shouts, “What!?.” With a big smile dances across her lips, she doesn’t even know what the hell is going on, but my excitement is contagious.

  Holding my finger up to her, I finally let out the breath I’ve been holding and answer Holden, “Yes, I’d love to! I am a huge fan and so honored you called me, of all people! I need to give Delia a big hug when I see her at work!”

  I can’t help but laugh along with Holden as his deep chuckle travels through the phone, “Glad to hear it; I’ll text the rest of the band and let them know you’re down. We’ll get ahold of you this week to set up a time to practice a few songs before the show Saturday.”

  “Sounds good!” Hanging up the phone, I toss it onto the coffee table and tackle Roxie.

  “Umfff!” She huffs out as I knock her back, “Geesh girlfriend, what the hell was that all about!” Roxie asks, as she tries to wiggle out from beneath me.

  Rolling onto my side with a smile stretching ear to ear, I tell her about the phone call and the show this Saturday. We spend the next hour freaking out and calling Matt and Dalton telling them the news. They are so excited for me, and will spread the word around campus to get a great turn out for my first performance.

  It’s crazy; I go from sitting in class daydreaming about singing on stage while learning the History of Music to actually auditioning with one of my favorite local bands! I can’t wait to tell Cane, he is going to freak the hell out. He is just as big of a fan as I am for Beyond Redemption.

  December 31st 2005

  I’m sitting backstage, warming up my voice in the green room at Club Mirage in Miami, and waiting for Beyond Redemption’s turn to go on stage. We’re performing here for New Years, and I’m so fricking nervous. We’ve only played in small bars over the last two weeks, and I have no idea if I am ready for this size of a crowd. The band booked this performance months ago when Tara was still with them, and the money was too good for them to cancel.

  Roxie is on recording duty, so she’ll be in the front row. I told her if I get too nervous I’ll just focus on her, or pretend the entire crowd is in their underwear, whatever the hell works! I’ve emailed my last two performances to Cane. He freaked out when I told him Holden called asking me to come jam with them. I was so nervous the first night walking into Holden’s basement to sing for them, but after the first twenty minutes I relaxed and felt like I’d been singing with them my entire life. We all just blended together perfectly.

  I’m still trying to get used to the fact that I’m actually the lead singer of a band that pretty much everyone in Miami loves. It doesn’t hurt every guy in the band is drop dead gorgeous, which I think is a good reason why the club is filled with gorgeous women tonight. After our first performance at Ocean Side Dive almost two weeks ago, they told me the verdict was in, and I was stuck with them. I can’t wait for Cane to come home so he can stand in the front row and watch me on stage in person. It’s going to suck going back to school and to have to focus on homework and school crap. I have a blast chilling with the band every night and rehearsing. We’ve been working overtime to get me prepared for tonight.

  Levi and Nash, our bassist and drummer, are cousin’s and fight like an old married couple, its quiet entertaining. They’re sitting on the couch across from me right now, fighting over who’s going to get more phone numbers tonight. With this place bursting at the seams, I doubt they’ll leave with less than twenty each, and I think it’s safe to say they won’t be leaving alone. They almost look like brothers with similar facial features and jet black hair that’s cut short on the sides and styled into a high faux hawk. The only difference between the two is Levi wears large black glasses, and Nash has h
uge one inch black gauge earrings.

  Holden and Casper are our lead guitarists. But Holden has a voice like Three Days Grace lead singer, Adam Gontier, and sings back up for me and any duets with me. His voice is amazing, and if they weren’t looking for a female singer to head their band, I don’t doubt for a moment they would do just fine with him as a front man. They’re out in the hall talking with some friends who came to help set up their equipment.

  As I go through my final round of vocal warm ups, I hear my phone ringing from my purse on the floor beside the couch. I quickly lean over, retrieving it from the floor and burst with excitement the moment I recognize the international number. It’s ten fifty-five; we’re on in five minutes so it won’t give me much time to talk with Cane, but I’ll take every second I can get.

  “Hey, babe!” I shout into the phone as Nash and Levi stop bickering and stand up from the couch and head towards the door.

  Nash flashes me a big smile, “We’re going to get ready to go on, meet us out there in three.” With those words, he and Levi disappear into the chaos unfolding outside the green room door.

  My stomach flutters with a swarm of butterflies as Cane’s thick raspy voice caresses my ear, “Happy New Year, baby.”

  I forgot, in Iraq, it’s already 2006! Damn time zones.

  “Happy New Year! Just think how amazing 2006 is going to be; we’ll finally be husband and wife.” Just hearing the words wife come out of my mouth makes me giddier than a kid on Christmas morning.

  Cane’s laughter fills the phone; there is nothing I love more than hearing him laugh…it’s the most amazing sound ever. “That it is; I can’t wait to marry you Brittan. I wish we would’ve eloped before I deployed. I hate not being able to call you my wife. Having to wait is almost unbearable. This tour can’t be over soon enough.”

  Lying back against the couch, I kick my feet up onto the coffee table that are donned in 6” fire red stilettos, “Believe me, I wish the same thing every day, but before we know it, you’ll be back and then we can have our dream wedding.”

  I hear voices in the background; someone is speaking to Cane, “Sorry babe, I gotta go. I love you and I can’t wait to see your performance. You’re going to be awesome.”

  Letting out a nervous laugh, I chew the inside of my cheek and glance towards the door; I hear the band that was just playing making their way towards the green room. Sitting back up I let out a shaky breath, “I love you too, and I can’t believe I’m ringing in the New Year singing with Beyond Redemption, it just doesn’t feel real!”

  “I told ya babe, you have the most amazing voice and one day you’ll be performing in arenas around the world. I’ll try to call you again in a few days, until then, keep the emails coming.”

  I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, so I look up at the ceiling, widening my eyes and forcing the tears to stay back. I can’t ruin my make up a second before it’s time to go on stage.

  “Oh, you know by tomorrow you’ll have a book from me in your email, as I give you a play by play of tonight’s performance!” I giggled into the phone. “Stay safe, and hurry home Cane.”

  As soon as I end our call the other band comes bursting through the door followed by Holden, who flashes a wicked grin at me as he pours himself a shot, “Show time! Ready to go blow the roof of this joint?” He asks as he tosses his shot back.

  Nodding my head, I squeeze through the now full green room as Holden pours another shot and holds it out to me, “This will help settle your nerves.” His eyes are glazed over from all the shots they’ve already consumed tonight. These guys sure can hold their liquor.

  Me…not so much. I’m more of a beer or wine kind of girl. I don’t feel like spending my first day of 2006 with my face in a toilet, so one shot is good for me.

  Taking the shot glass between my fingers, I tip it back, and my eyes instantly begin to water as the smooth liquor burns, sliding down my throat. “Wooaahh!” I shout as I bounce on the balls of my feet and shake my head as the burn slowly disappears.

  Holden erupts into a roar of laughter, “Now, you’re ready.” He tells me as he claps me on the back and leads me out the door.

  Following Holden out into the hall, I spot Levi and Nash at the end of the hallway with Casper. They’re jumping up and down chanting like gorillas…it’s quiet the sight to see.

  “Get your ass over here, Brittan; it’s time to kick off 2006 with a kickass concert!” Levi shouts at me as I follow behind Holden.

  There are people everywhere, so we’re zig zagging through bodies of bystanders and doing so in these heels isn’t an easy task. My stomach is twisting into knots with every step I take. I keep focusing on breathing, so I don’t pass out.

  You can do this.

  Go out there show them you belong up here with these guys.

  I keep repeating it over and over again in my head.

  “Woo…Woo…Woo!” All the guys start chatting and bouncing around laughing. I start bouncing on my toes pumping my fist in the air beside them. It’s their ritual before performing, and it does seem to help get your blood pumping and adrenaline coursing through your veins before you have to run out there to sing and bounce around the stage for the next hour.

  The manager of the club pops his head around the corner with his headphone on, speaking to someone on the other end before focusing his attention on us. “Get your asses out on the stage, time to give the fans what they want!” He says shouting like he’s impatiently waiting for us, but the humor in his voice and a sly smile on his lips lets me know otherwise.

  The guys run out onto the stage ahead of me, taking their places on the stage. As soon as the crowd spots us making our way out, they go crazy; the screams are almost deafening.

  Looking out at the crowd, I can’t help but laugh at all the signs written in bright marker or glitter asking Levi, Casper, Holden and Nash to marry them. There are women holding up signs with ‘I want to marry you.’ ‘You’re fucking hot.’ And the last one made me literally laugh out loud, ‘Holden! Rock out with your cock out.’

  It’s insane how obsessed these women are for these guys, and they’re just a local act. They’ve traveled around Florida, Georgia and South Carolina, but that’s about it. I’m hoping they won’t be pissed that Tara isn’t performing tonight as planned, and they’ll be accepting of me. I’ve had nightmares all week of being booed off the stage.

  Waving to the crowd, I glance over my shoulder and give the guys a small smile as I step up to the microphone stand. I drop my eyes to the fans at my feet, and suddenly relax as my eyes lock with Matt, Dalton and Roxie’s.

  “You look fricking awesome, girly!” Roxie shouts, as Dalton and Matt make cat calls up at me.

  I can’t help but blush. I’m wearing a micro mini leather skirt, black lace bra and red sheer tank top over it. I have on fishnet stockings and red stilettos which seem to be a favorite for all the guys in here tonight, because my friends aren’t the only ones making cat calls. My dark auburn hair is falling down my back in big curls with the bright red highlights I added this week to give me an edgier look. I was nervous about it, but Roxie assured me it looked amazing.

  Pressing my mouth to the mic and raising my hand in the air towards the crowd, I yell out to them, “Are you guys ready to ring in 2006 with Beyond Redemption?!”

  The shouting of ‘Hell yes! Fuck yeah!’ Make my ears ring; we’re in a pretty good sized night club, with about two hundred people in here. The screams echo around us continuously.

  All the guys behind me yell out at the crowd getting them pumped up, while Holden shouts into his mic, “Why don’t y’all give our girl Brittan a proper welcome!”

  The crowd is going crazy chanting, “Brittan…Brittan…Brittan!” I can’t stop grinning; my cheeks are starting to hurt! The excitement is intoxicating, and the show hasn’t even begun yet!

  Shaking my head, I grip the mic stand, “Thanks! I am so excited to perform for y’all with these guys tonight!” Glancing over my shoulder,
I signal to Casper that I’m ready, and as soon as he begins strumming the guitar to Flyleaf’s, Fully Alive, Nash joins in on drums followed by Levi and Holden on their guitars.

  I let the music take over my body. Closing my eyes, I start singing and the words flow out smooth and effortless as every bit of nervousness seeps out of me, vanishing into the crowd. I feel at home up here, and never felt more alive than I do at this moment.

  This is exactly where I belong.

  January 11, 2006

  “I swear that class was so boring, I almost resorted to taping my freaking eyelids open so that I wouldn’t fall asleep. Mr. Garrett’s voice is like that guy’s from the damn Visine commercials; I cannot wait to be done with his class.” I say dryly as Roxie, and I pull out of the Starbucks drive through.

  Taking a sip from her Mocha Frappuccino, she nods her head in agreement. We are both in different majors but have the same calculus class.

  “I pray to God I pass this damn class because I don’t think I can go through another semester listening to him go on and on for an hour.” Roxie says as she lets out an aggravated moan.

  I mentally cringe as she mentions grades. I’m doing well in all my classes so far, but that one, I’ll be lucky if I pass. “I don’t even want to think about that right now. I say we just head back to my place and spend the rest of the day sitting out on my balcony drinking a bottle of wine and promise to not mention calculus for the remainder of the day!” I laugh as I pull onto my street.

  Holding her hand up like a Boy Scout, Roxie laughs, “I swear to not mention Mr. Garrett for the remainder of the day, or I hope, this lifetime!”

  Parking my car next to Cane’s Silverado, I grab my tote, slinging it over my shoulder and head towards my condo. It’s a gorgeous day today, so I’m ready to spend the afternoon chilling on the balcony, enjoying the warm ocean breeze.