Heart of Dixon Read online

  I melt into his arms and find that my fears are slowly easing out of me as he rubs his hand slowly up and down my spine. “I understand and will gladly spend the night if it’ll help you sleep easier.” He presses a kiss to my neck, and I can’t ignore the butterflies that flutter in the pit of my stomach as his soft lips connect with my warm skin.

  “Thank you.” My words come out soft and breathy. My mind and my body are all over the place. My brain is saying this is wrong. You don’t feel anything for this guy, and he deserves more than that. You want Dixon. But my body is saying Jax is safe, he is here, Dixon isn’t. Take what you can get.

  “No need to thank me.” Breaking away from his embrace, I walk over to the closet where I set all of my suitcases earlier today and dig out a pair of Victoria’s Secret sweats and a cami to slip into before bed.

  Not being shy, I strip out of my clothes and slip into my pajamas before joining Jax, who’s already in his briefs and under the blankets. My blood pressure skyrockets as I take in his finely toned body. He’s uncovered from the waist up and looking even better than I remembered. It’s summer in Australia, and I can tell he spent his time away soaking up the rays on the beach because he has the perfect sun-kissed look going on and looks like a damn Aussie Adonis.

  A small part of me wishes it wasn’t my time of the month so I could get reacquainted with his thunder down under, but another part of me feels wrong for thinking that way. Jax is the sweetest guy I know. When we agreed to the whole being friends who hook up thing, I was excited. I’ve been on this streak of having to continuously go out to clubs back in L.A. to find a guy so that I wasn’t having to orgasm every damn night with my battery operated boyfriend for years.

  I am usually not one who’ll go back to a guy after we hook up. It’s too risky. Things can turn bad fast. I hate drama and avoid it at all costs. But since moving here with Savannah and dealing with a crazy work schedule, I’ve found it more exhausting than fun going out trying to find a guy to have a wild time with. Too many have been duds in the bedroom making the whole process depressing. So finding Xander and Jax seemed like a freaking jackpot in my eyes. Things were perfect. We were all content with how things were.

  Then Dixon had to waltz into my fucking life. He’s flipped everything upside down and messed with my head. I dream about him every damn night. My body craves his touch every second of the day. For the first time ever, I actually feel guilt. I don’t think it’s fair for me to be with Jax intimately when subconsciously I’m thinking of Dixon. It happened to me the other night with Xander. Ever since, I’ve felt like the biggest bitch ever.

  I have a few wild hook ups with Dixon, and now I'm questioning everything I thought I ever wanted. I hate this. Life was simple before Dixon had to make me go all girly and oh-so-needy. I’ve never felt like this...ever.

  “Are you okay?” Jax asks pulling me from my thoughts.

  I tilt my head and stare at him questionably. “What?”

  He lets out a husky chuckle that makes a wave of warmth wash over my skin, “You’re just standing beside the bed with this faraway look in your eyes. I didn’t know if you were still thinking about Zak.”

  Pulling the blankets down on my side of the bed, I slide under the warm blankets and curl into Jax’s side. He wraps his arm around me and gently runs his fingers up and down my arm, soothing me and helping push my thoughts away for now.

  “I’m okay. I was letting my brain run wild for a minute there, but I’m okay now. Thanks again for staying with me tonight.”

  I feel Jax shift and then feel his lips press against the top of my head. “It’s nothing, really. Everything going on right now is scary, but I promise I won’t allow anything to happen to you or Savannah.”

  This time the butterflies in my belly feel like a swarm of bees as I feel sick to my stomach. Using him for comfort feels wrong. I pray he doesn’t get the wrong idea. The last thing I want is to lead Jax on then feel like an evil bitch for pushing him away. Right now, I have no idea what I want and don’t want. Dixon isn’t talking to me so I need to try to do what I can to forget about him. He isn’t worth my time or my trouble. Jax is here. He’s willing to be the knight in shining armor I need at this moment.

  It’s been four days since Savannah came home and since I received the text from Zak. Since that night, I haven’t gotten any more messages from him, and the cops have had zero luck tracking where the message came from. So we’re still left in this bubble of confusion wondering where he is and what it is he’s plotting.

  Jax filled Kayden in privately, and he agreed it was best to not tell Savannah. There’s no reason to give her one more thing to worry over when there is no helpful information coming from Zak contacting me. For now, all we can do is try to move on with our lives, get things back to as normal as possible, and leave the stress of worrying about where Zak is to the police. I’m grateful I get to fly to Vancouver Monday because working will help distract me. Kicking the shit out of people will definitely be therapeutic.

  I just finished up a kickboxing class here in Sugar Land, and every inch of my body hurts, but at the same time I feel amazing. I needed to blow off some steam and release the aggravation built up inside of me. Savannah was bummed she couldn’t go, but we have a fun spa day planned with Mya while Kayden and the guys head up to the Beaumont Cabin and do some fishing.

  I usually go to one the in Galveston, but Jax thought it was best to find one close to the house to be safe since no one knows for sure where Zak is. He said it was best to not go to places Zak knows we regularly visit. Before heading back to Kayden’s house, we stop first at Dunn Bros swinging through the drive-thru to get iced coffees. I order my white chocolate mocha and get Savannah a mocha iced coffee.

  We pull up twenty minutes later to the large steel gates that lead into Kayden’s gated community here in Sugar Land. I check in with the guard. Within seconds, we’re driving past luxurious mansions before coming to a stop in front of Kayden’s gate. He has another security guard stationed at his gate for extra security who buzzes us through with a nod of his head.

  I drive my Jeep up the long, winding driveway lined with palm trees before coming to a stop in front of the house. The sun is bright and inviting as I jump out of the jeep with the coffees in tow. I’ll have to drag Savannah out onto the patio to enjoy these so we can take advantage of the unusually warm afternoon.

  As soon as I burst through the doors, I spot Savannah coming down the grand staircase with a smile on her face. It makes my smile widen seeing her looking more and more like her old self. I hand Jax Savannah’s coffee and take a long sip from mine before bouncing across the foyer and wrap my arms gently around her. I take extra care to not hurt her ribs or spill my coffee. “Am I not the bestest friend ever?! I went and got you the largest mocha iced coffee they had!” I shriek enthusiastically.

  Savannah’s smile touches her eyes as she eagerly reaches out, wiggling her fingers at Jax before taking her coffee from him. “Oh, my God, you are the best! I am in desperate need of caffeine. I slept like shit again last night, and I’m dragging this morning.” We each grab a muffin from the bag Jax was holding and head outside to the patio area to eat and drink our coffee.

  As soon as our asses hit the seats, Savannah stares at me with a sly grin on her face, “So...you and Jax? Back to hot and steamy again I see?” She says nonchalantly, popping another chunk of blueberry muffin into her mouth.

  I can’t help but roll my eyes. She thinks Jax and I have been hooking up every night because he’s been sleeping in my room. I admit things have gotten a little steamy between us, but it’s stayed PG-13. I’ve played it off as the stress of everything getting to me, so Jax doesn’t think it is him. Because it isn’t. He’s amazing and can rock my world in the bedroom.

  It’s just every night I fall asleep and have XXX rated dreams about Dixon and his damn Dixie Stick. It doesn’t feel right to be hooking up with Jax while having Dixon constantly on my mind. I keep trying to push the thoughts
of Dixon away and focus on Jax, who is willing to be here with me, not to mention he is an amazing person and an even better lover. I seriously feel like smashing my head on the table to try and knock some sense into myself. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

  “What?! I am curious to know how you manage to juggle three men. How do you not scream out the wrong name as they are pile driving you? I’ve heard you enough times to know you are quite vocal in the bedroom, Brooklyn.”

  “Oh, my gawd! You have no shame, do you?” I shout, before letting out a loud sigh. I pick at my muffin as I decide to just get everything out there and let Savannah know exactly what I’m dealing with. Maybe my fucked up love life with be a good distraction for her. “I’m so confused. I go from having no guy in my life to three in a matter of a few freakin’ weeks! I already know Xander has no plans, whatsoever, to settle down. He’s made that perfectly clear. Going as far as to telling me that he hopes I am not expecting him to not hook up with other women while touring!”

  “Sooo, you already know he’s just a fun boy-toy that you can rely on for a good lay when he’s in town. What about Dixon and Jax? Have they said anything at all about wanting you all to themselves? I know Dixon is a player with a capital P, but I see the way he looks at you…and then Jax, he has it bad for you. I can tell.”

  Shoving the last bite of muffin into my mouth, I chew it slowly and tilt my head back to look up at the sky. My mind is reeling, and it’s overwhelming. I’ve never felt like this, and it’s getting to be too much. Maybe opening up to Savannah will help. She can give me some kind of much-needed advice for my fucked up three-guy situation and help me figure out what the hell to do.

  I take a long sip from my coffee and then finally force myself to turn back to Savannah, “Neither has said anything to me. I haven’t kept it a secret that I’m spending time with both of them.” My stomach is in knots as I dwell over everything we’re discussing.

  “Well, I just hope it doesn’t cause any issues between Jax and Dixon because it will put Kayden in a tough spot. Jax works for him and is a close friend. Dixon is his family and business partner.”

  Standing up quickly, I walk around the table and plop down in the seat next to Savannah. “You’re not mad at me are you? The last thing I want to do is cause trouble for Kayden.”

  Savannah slurps down the last of her coffee as her eyes leave mine for a moment and shift toward the house where Kayden is inside before turning her attention back to me. “I don’t think Kayden cares, but we haven’t really talked about it, so it’s hard to say. He hasn’t mentioned anything to me, and he knows what a man whore Dixon can be. I think as long as things with you don’t affect his work or our lives, he’s fine with it. He finds it kind of funny actually.”

  Okay. He finds this all funny? I raise my eyebrows up at her and ask, “Funny? Like funny ha ha or weird funny? God, I don’t want your boyfriend thinking I am a nasty skank!” I pray he doesn’t think I’m some nasty ho and a bad influence around Savannah.

  Ugh. My life is a total train wreck right now.

  Letting out a laugh, Savannah flashes a playful grin at me before shoving my arm. “Kayden doesn’t think you’re a skank! He just thinks you are biting off more than you can chew, is all. Three hot guys and only one of you…it could get ugly.”

  “Well, from the looks of things, I don’t see it turning ugly anytime soon. Dixon is so fuckin’ hot and cold. I can’t keep up with him! When we’re alone, he is all over me like he just can’t get enough. Then, when he’s around his friends and stuff, it’s like I’m invisible. Jax and I are just having fun. God, he is smoking hot! Just listening to him talk with that Aussie accent…damn Aussie Adonis...I swear I could have an orgasm just by him talking to me!” This time we are both laughing hysterically. I feel a weight being lifted off of both of us as we sit out here laughing with one another with carefree smiles on our faces.

  “We are something else. Combine a hot body, gorgeous face, and an accent, and we’re putty in their hands. I think the best thing for you to do with Dixon is play hard to get. Don’t call him. If he calls you, don’t call him back right away. Let him see that two can play the hot and cold game. Maybe then you will see his true colors. I actually think you both could be good together if you got over your own egos! I think you could actually tame each other; how screwed up does that sound?!?”

  I let Savannah’s words sink in as I sit there thinking about what she just said. Maybe it is about time I made Dixon squirm. I’m done running to him whenever he decides to throw me a bone and pay attention to me. It’s really, really not the best thing to do but maybe I’ll use the agreement between Jax and me to my advantage. Jax is amazing and usually always around when Dixon is. I can flirt with Jax and see if it gets a rise out of Dixon.

  I don’t know what I want from him. A relationship is the last thing on my mind right now; I’m way too busy. But I know the thought of Dixon being with anyone but me drives me absolutely crazy. Maybe I’ll be able to get him to admit the same if he sees me with someone else and not following him around like a lost little puppy when he comes to visit. I just hope that this doesn’t come back to blow up in my face.

  Chapter Eight

  Dixon

  My truck is jammed packed full of coolers in the bed of the truck with enough food and beer to last us an entire weekend, and we’re only going to be gone for the day. That’s how we roll when we head up to Beaumont Cabin.

  I have Tank, Wyatt, and Brantley with me already. Now we’re swinging by Knox’s place to get Jax and him so we can head to the lake. It’s a perfect day for fishing and barbecuing with it being in the low sixties today and barely a breeze blowing.

  Kayden has his place held up tighter than Fort Knox right now, which is pretty funny since his last name is Knox. After going through the gates at the end of Kayden’s driveway, we are finally driving up to the house. As we’re rolling through the gates, Wyatt lets out a low grumble, “I can’t believe they haven’t caught that fucker yet. I don’t know how Knox is keepin’ it together. If that were me, I’d be running all over the state of Texas with my fuckin’ shotgun lookin’ for that little punk so I could show him why ya don’t mess with a Texan.”

  All the guys nod and say, “Mhmm.” In unison agreeing with Wyatt.

  “I’d throw his ass in the swamp, makin’ sure that he was never found,” Brantley says from behind my seat.

  Every time this topic gets brought up, everyone gets so fired up that we all end up pissed off. The last thing I want is to get Kayden out of the house and then have him sitting around for hours listening to the same shit he’s thought of a million times.

  Clearing my throat, I put the truck in park and spin in my seat to look into the back seat at Brantley and Tank before shifting my gaze to the passenger seat looking at Wyatt. “Okay, guys. Listen. I know we’re all pissed off by everything going on but Kayden needs this trip today to try and forget about all this Zak crap. So let’s all drop the Zak talk for now and focus on what’s important: Help Kayden let loose, forget about all the crazy shit going on and catch some big ass fish to fry up!”

  Clapping my heads together, I shout, “Woot! Okay, boys. Let’s go drag his ass outta that house so we can get our asses out on the boat!”

  Jumping out of the truck, we all sprint up the large stairs leading up to Kayden’s house and burst through the front door entering the foyer. “Knox! Get your ass down here. The fish ain’t gonna catch themselves!” Tank shouts throughout the house, cupping his mouth with his hands. Man! Does that boy’s voice carry! I think the neighbors probably heard his loud ass.

  I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, but they’re not heavy enough to be Kayden. My heart stops and restarts again when Brooklyn comes into view. She’s wearing leggings, an off the shoulder shirt that allows me to get a peek at her smooth skin, and flip flops. Her long brown hair is up in a high ponytail on top of her head with large bouncing curls going down her back. I
t’s been easy to ignore the cravings I’ve had for her with us being apart, but seeing her now...being this close...it’s almost too much.

  Wyatt lets out a low whistle, making me ball my fists and clench my jaw. “Well, you look as hot as ever, Miss. Brooklyn.” He says, making his drawl thicker.

  “Aww. Thank you, Wyatt.” She has the biggest smile on her face until her eyes land on me standing behind everyone with my hands now shoved into my front pockets. Her eyes slowly roam over me, and I notice a spark of desire flicker in them.

  I’ve seen the look enough times to know when she likes what she sees. This girl is definitely liking what I have to give. I’ll let her want all her little heart desires, but there’s not a chance in hell I’ll be giving in and doing anything with her ever again.

  Removing my hands from my pockets, I start rolling the sleeves up on my flannel shirt to distract myself. “So is Knox ready?” I ask nonchalantly trying my best to avoid eye contact.

  Brooklyn saunters across the foyer towards me with all eyes landing on her and following her every move—especially her swaying ass as she approaches me. She gives me a small smirk, crossing her arms, making her tits pop out more before tilting her head towards the staircase. “He’s been locked up in his room for quite some time now with Savannah. I think an intervention may be needed in order to get his ass out of this house.”

  I blow a loud puff of air out and move around Brooklyn, causing our shoulders to gently graze one another’s and instantly sending that magnetic charge between us that’s there every time we’re together. But I successfully brush it off and keep my head on straight. I don’t know how much longer I can keep brushing it off so I need to get out of here AS-A-freakin-P.

  Walking up the stairs halfway, I stop. Gripping the railing, I shout up the stairs, “Knox! I swear to God! Put your dick in your fuckin’ pants and drag your ass down here, or I will not be held accountable for my actions.”