Tempt My Heart Read online

  I have my moments where I feel like my world is starting to spin out of control, but whenever I do Jordon has been right there to help me through it. Roxie is Jordon’s biggest fan, and she hasn’t even met him yet. She says she can already see a difference. So I imagine she’ll spend the entire time she’s here grilling me about Jordon.

  I’ve loved chilling together with both bands. We all have made it a ritual to get together on my bandmate’s bus and have poker night or just hang out while all we all play Kinect. I haven’t had this much fun with my own bandmates in forever. I’ve been so lost over the last few years and we all slowly began to grow apart.

  Having Jordon come into my life has been a blessing in disguise. He’s been the extra support I need to stay clean and has helped me learn how to live again.

  We have a show tonight in L.A. and Roxie is flying in to watch and spend a few days with me here. Matt also has a game in Los Angeles, so they’re going to spend Valentine’s Day in Napa Valley. We have a few days of down time here before we hit the road again to travel through the Midwest, so we’re going to stay at my house in Malibu. I haven’t been there since just before I overdosed, so it’s going to be weird walking through those doors sober.

  My life fell apart while living in California, away from all my family and friends. I’m ready to start fresh and make some happy memories there. It’s a good sized beach house, so I’m letting all of Tempting Tomorrow stay there with us. Nash, Holden, Casper and Levi all have houses between Malibu and Los Angeles, but said they’ll stay the first night so we can party together. I told them we’ll use this time to celebrate the first five weeks of our tour being a success!

  Right now I’m getting my hair and makeup done because we have a photo shoot and interview for our new album. The guys have it easy; they take ten minutes in hair and makeup they’re all ready. Me, it takes two hours to look as amazing as they make me. I think I’ve tried on twenty outfits before I decided on a pleated red skirt, and black off the shoulder tee with a big skull on it. Adding a spiked bracelet, matching spike earrings and a new hoop ring for my nose, I complete the outfit with knee high lace up leather platform boots.

  I love the outfit so much I’m going to see about keeping it and wearing it tonight at our concert. I look pretty fucking badass if I must say.

  As you can guess, Envy Magazine is going for a hardcore cover to promote our Falling Into Darkness album. We’ll have our cover and interview in the April issue, a month before the album releases. Our first single on the album has already broken into the top ten on Billboard’s Top 100. I will freak if we hit number one because it’s one of the songs I wrote while in rehab. I poured my heart and soul into it.

  An extremely sexy guy appears wearing nice tight jeans, button up white dress shirt and dirty blonde hair styled in a faux hawk. He is definitely hot, and if I wasn’t banging Jordon and trying to stay on the straight and narrow, I’d so bang him in the closest storage closet I could find.

  “Hey, I’m Reagan and I’ll be shooting you guys for the magazine cover and article.” He says reaching his hand out to me first. He gives me a wicked grin that makes me just a little bit weak in the knees.

  After shaking hands and introducing ourselves to Reagan, we dive straight into photo shoot mode. The shoot takes two hours and by the time we head to the boardroom for our interview; my feet are killing me, and we still have a show this evening.

  Maybe I’ll skip wearing these boots tonight.

  When we walked into the boardroom I instantly recognize Savannah Livingston-Knox. She’s been all over the press the last year. Her husband is Kayden Knox, a billionaire oil tycoon from Houston and owner of Vertigo, one of the top night clubs. We have performed many times at the South Beach location.

  Her parents are a chart topping country duo, and she was blessed with an amazing voice, but as we saw today, her passion is in interviewing and not singing. I’ve seen the performances she’s done at her husband’s club posted on YouTube. She’s really progressed with her vocals, so I’m shocked she didn’t follow in her parents’ footsteps. I guess you have to really want to be in this business because it can easily chew you up and spit you out.

  After the shoot, we all went to the arena to get ready for rehearsal. I opted to take a nap on my tour bus before rehearsals, while the guys went and hung out with Jordon, Kingston, Lawson and Zane in the green room.

  They won’t pass on a full bar anywhere.

  I set my alarm on my cell to make sure I don’t oversleep but didn’t need it. I instantly wake up to the feeling of familiar hands sliding along my thigh under the blankets.

  Opening my eyes, I am met with a heart stopping smile from Jordon.

  “Hey, sleepyhead. We just finished our sound check. You guys are up in thirty.” He says as he leans down and begins fluttering kisses along my bare shoulder.

  I had taken my outfit off because I didn’t want to wrinkle it, and I think Jordon is pleased with me opting to sleep in my bra and panties. He has a mischievous gleam in his eye as he traces the top of my breasts with his rough, callused fingers.

  Just the thought of what those fingers can do to me in a matter of seconds makes me clench my thighs together. I try to ignore the insistent throbbing between them.

  “Well that hour went by fast.” I laugh as I fall back on the bed, and gingerly slide my fingers through Jordon’s silky locks.

  “I got you a mocha frappachino…well my assistant did, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.” Climbing up onto his knees, he grabs the ice coffee off of the stand beside my bed and dangles it above my head.

  I don’t think I’ve smiled this much since Cane. A hurt my cheeks; face-splitting grin is going on right now.

  It’s surreal.

  “Well, I think that deserves a proper thank you.” I say matter-of-factly.

  Fisting Jordon’s tight Nirvana tee, I pull him to me for a quick kiss. Just as he’s trying to deepen the kiss, I break away from his lips and with a sly smile I shoved him back onto the bed.

  “No sex, at least not until after the show. I need all the energy I can muster after the day I’ve had.” I crawl between his legs and giggle at the sad puppy dog face he is displaying.

  “You had me at proper thank you, and then you break my heart all in the same breath.” His words come out whiny and oh-so-adorable.

  Rolling my eyes, I get to work on unbuttoning his jeans and freeing his dick that is already hard and ready.

  “I said no sex…but there are other ways to thank you. But if you…” I don’t even get to finish my sentence before Jordon is cutting me off and flashing me a shit eating grin.

  “I am beyond okay with any way you want to thank me. I’d much rather have that pretty pussy of yours around my dick, but your mouth will do. I don’t need Holden kicking my ass because I made his lead singer exhausted before the show started.”

  Sticking my tongue out, I slowly slide it along his shaft. I love the way Jordon’s eyelids flutter and his breathing hitches as my tongue travels from root to tip.

  “Fuck…you just vibrated my entire fucking dick…” He moans, as he fists a handful of hair and guides my mouth up and down his length.

  Knowing we only have a few more seconds before I have to go inside the arena to warm up my voice, I stop playing around, and get into full-on cock sucking mode. This dick needs to finish. Pronto.

  Wrapping my hand around it, I firmly grip his length as I cup his balls with my other hand. Hallowing out my cheeks, I suck and slide my mouth up and down his dick. I place my hand at his base and in conjunction with my saliva, jerk his dick. I feel Jordon’s entire body tensing up as he nears his orgasm.

  Massaging his balls that are now tightening in the palm of my hand, I suck harder. I slide it deeper down my throat as I jerk him faster. I’m immediately rewarded with his cum filling my mouth.

  I quickly swallow while I continue milking his dick with my hand, causing Jordon to curse under his breath.

  “Holy
shit…Brittan!”

  I smile as I slide him out of my mouth and lick my lips.

  “Well that was fun, but I gotta go warm up my vocals.” I say slapping his thigh and jumping off the bed and begin throwing my clothes back on.

  Jordon rests his hands under his head and stays lying in my bed with his dick still semi hard. My body is screaming to get him hard again and have a quickie, but I’ve got a show to do!

  Why does he have to look so fucking good all the time!?

  “I just coated your throat with my magical cream, so I think you’ll blow the roof off tonight with those high notes you like to hit.”

  I can’t contain my laughter as I repeat the words, “magical cream” over and over in my head.

  Men are idiots; I swear. They think they’re geniuses but seriously, they’re just horny morons.

  Grabbing my coffee, I kneel on the bed and give Jordon one more kiss before smiling down at him with a crooked grin, “We’ll see how I do tonight. If I hit every note effortlessly, I’ll suck your dick before every show.” I playfully slap his chest and give him a wink as I stand to slide my heels on.

  “I’m going to hold you to that promise!” He shouts to me as I make my way through the bus.

  Saying Goodbye to Ghosts of the Past

  Jordon

  “You really like her, don’t you?” Brittan’s friend Roxie asks, as we stand off to the side of the stage watching Beyond Redemption. We are done with our set, so I get to watch Brittan in her element.

  Nodding, I glance at Roxie before my eyes lock back on Brittan. She’s head banging in the center of the stage with her fiery red hair flying around under the light show above her.

  She never looks more fucking gorgeous then she does when she’s on stage.

  “I really do. For right now, we’re just having fun, and I guess we’ll see where things go. But I hope that it will lead to more.” I can’t believe I actually said that out loud at a concert.

  “Thank God your fans can’t hear you, or we’d hear the crowd erupts in cries!” Roxie jokes with a big grin on her face.

  Shaking my head, I let out a low chuckle, “Yeah, the female fans can get pretty fucking crazy. Our manager didn’t want Lawson to make it public he was in a relationship because it hurts sales or some shit. His girlfriend Natasha flipped the fuck out. So, needless to say, he makes it very clear in all our interviews he is taken. No pleading the fifth for him.”

  “It’s crazy. Some of these girls actually believe they will marry y’all someday. I deal with that craziness daily. My husband, I don’t know if Brittan told you, play’s in the NBA. Girls at the parties he attends have no shame. They’ll try to seduce you, married or not. Women love to think they have the power to bring a man to his knees no matter how in love he is with someone else.”

  Raking my hands through my hair, I stand beside Roxie for a few seconds in a daze. I get lost watching Brittan, and it scares the shit out of me the way my heart beats against my chest; it’s faster than Lawson can slam on his drum set.

  With our career of choice, relationships pretty much always come with an expiration date no matter how hard you try and say yours will be different. Most of the time it ends with you both heart broken and going your separate ways.

  We spent the next hour hanging out until after the show. When everyone was ready, we loaded onto the buses and headed towards Brittan’s home in Malibu. Roxie drove her car and met us there. We took advantage of having the bus to ourselves and even though there was no fucking going on, I spent the entire ride with Brittan straddling my lap and us making out like we were teenagers again.

  It’s fucking insane what this girl is doing to me.

  We’re definitely fucking the second our feet land in her house because my balls are ready to explode.

  I love this new side of Brittan I’ve been seeing these last few weeks. She seems happier and instead of looking like she’s on the verge of kicking me in the balls; she’s groping them.

  Life is good.

  For me and my balls.

  Brittan

  “I am so happy you’re here. I have seriously been missing the hell out of you!” I shout as run straight into Roxie’s arms, practically knocking us both onto the floor.

  She’s lounging on the chaise that sits in front of a wall of windows overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

  That is the main reason I bought this house in Malibu. The entire house is made of nothing but glass. It feels like you are outside even when you are inside. I love opening up all the doors and just letting the warm sea breeze blow through my house.

  Laughing, she sits back up, “I missed you too. I thought it was about time I dragged my ass to a concert and got together with my bestie. You killed it tonight. Seriously, you are like the Energizer bunny on stage.”

  I slide my gaze towards Jordon, who’s walking back into the living room with all our bandmates. They all have beers in tow; Jordon gives me a cocky grin as he hands a beers to Roxie and me.

  “Well I for one am glad Matt had a game in L.A. the same time we were in town so we can have some girl time. Now let’s party!” I shout tapping my bottle of Budweiser against hers.

  “Let’s party!” Roxie parrots smiling at me and taking a sip from her beer.

  Standing, I make my way across the room to get the music pumping throughout the house. Roxie, knowing me so well, opens all the doors leading out to the deck, instantly filling my house with the cool salty air.

  Everyone makes their way out to the deck, and of course, except for Lawson, all of the guys have a groupie on their arms. He’ll be flying back to Chicago tomorrow morning to spend Valentine’s Day with Natasha.

  Roxie and I are leaning against the railing talking when I feel Jordon press his body against mine, wrapping his arms around me. I momentarily lose my train of thought as I melt into Jordon’s embrace. It feels strange reacting this way.

  I’m slowly allowing myself to live in the moment and Jordon is definitely helping me do that. I never thought he’d be so funny and sweet. Who knew I’d find the cocky asshole thing so appealing?

  “You two are cute together.” Roxie says, eyeing us up and down.

  Jordon laughs into my hair, as he nuzzles his face into my neck, pressing a kiss against it. My body is still tingling all over and is hyper-sensitive from the heavy make-out session we had on the bus. It has never been so hard to not give in and beg him to fuck my brains out.

  “So are you two ‘official’ yet? Or still claiming to be just fuck buddies?” Roxie asks mainly keeping her attention on me. She has this look in her eye, like she can see there’s more between us than just sex.

  I hate how she just tells it how it is, refusing to let me live in denial. Ever since I talked to her about Jordon and the feelings he’s evoking in me, she has been on my ass to talk to him. She thinks I should see if he wants to take this to the next level.

  In all honesty, I’m scared he likes keeping it casual and asking for more will scare him off. He has thousands of gorgeous women throwing themselves at him every day. His career is taking off right now with their new single quickly climbing the charts right behind ours.

  “We’re just having fun.” I answer quickly. I don’t want Jordon to feel put on the spot.

  His body tenses around me momentarily then relaxes again.

  What the hell is that about?

  “Whatever. I think you two are in denial. From where I stand, it looks a hell of a lot more than just having fun.” Roxie doesn’t ever hold back from calling me on my bullshit.

  Jordon pulls me tighter against his body with one arm, while taking a long pull from his beer with the other, “I’m not the one in denial, but I’ll take Brittan any way I can get her…so.” He says pressing another kiss to my neck, before smacking me on the ass. “I’m going to see if the guys are up for some pool.” With that Jordon is walking away and leaving me with my head spinning.

  His words hit me hard and send me off balance.

  “Wh
at the hell just happened?” I ask Roxie as I plop down on the outdoor lounge.

  Roxie glances over her shoulder towards Jordon and our bandmates with their lady friends for the night. They’re busy setting up my outdoor pool table. I can’t take my eyes off of him. His words keep bouncing around in my head

  Leaning back on her hands, Roxie gives me a knowing smile, “Girl, don’t act like you don’t know. That guy is so into you it’s as if he’s walking around with neon lights across his forehead that say I want to be with Brittan. You need to stop living life with your blinders on and open your damn eyes. For the first time since Cane, you have a chance to be happy.”

  Shaking my head, I rub my hands over my face and let out a long sigh, “This is all just happening too fast. The two of us together,” I say waving my hands between Jordon and me, “spells disaster! We’re touring together. What if something happens and he decides he doesn’t want me anymore. I can’t risk having us at each other’s throats for the remainder of this tour, and then possibly a European one too!”

  Sadness momentarily consumes Roxie’s face before a small smile curls up at the corners of her lips. Pressing her hand over mine, she looks from me back out to the ocean.

  “You should know better than anyone Brittan that life is too short. We’re never promised tomorrow. I think you will forever wonder what if after this tour ends if you never give Jordon a chance.”

  “I know that! I tell myself this every day. I just I don’t think it’s fair for Jordon to be with a woman who buried her heart the same day she buried her fiancé. He deserves someone who can give him their entire heart and love him unconditionally. I just don’t think I can do that. I already had my one true love, my soul mate, and he’s gone. God doesn’t give you two; that’s why it’s called one true love, Roxie.”

  Blowing a puff of air out between her firmly pressed lips, Roxie snaps her head at me so fast I think I just got whiplash!