Mine Would Be You Read online

  One thing for certain is Lawson will not be one of those boys with a mouthful of metal. Nope. He has a perfect set of teeth that form a smile that makes me suddenly believe in all that love at first sight mumbo-jumbo my friend Alli’s older sister always goes on and on about.

  “Hi. You must be the new girl moving into old Mr. Fisk’s house. I’m Lawson,” he says politely, stretching his hand out to mine. He’s tall and lanky, with long arms and big hands. They swallow mine as I allow him to take it. “This here is my sister, Delilah.” Tilting his head towards the blonde, who’s now forgotten all about the spat with her older brother and is now beaming across the small space between us with a genuine friendly smile on her face.

  “Hi,” I say nervously and stare down at my feet momentarily. I bring my eyes back up to his before sliding my gaze over to his sister’s. I feel my cheeks warm after only making eye contact with him for a few seconds. I can barely find my voice as I tell them my name. “I’m Emelyn. It’s nice to meet you, Lawson—and Delilah.”

  Bouncing on the balls of her jelly-shoe-covered feet, she grabs my hand and shakes it with a little too much enthusiasm. “Oh my gosh! I’m so happy you’re not a boy! Lawson here kept teasing me, saying two boys were moving in and he’d heard they were like that kid in Problem Child—mean to the bone and evil as they come.” She pauses a moment to glare up at her brother before turning back to me and plastering a big bright grin back on her face. “But as we can see, you are most certainly a girl. I can tell already we’re going to be the best of friends.”

  Call me crazy, but I can’t help but think the same thing. I’m slightly taken aback by her comment, because I didn’t think I’d feel this comfortable so quickly around new kids here. There’s just something about these two that has me immediately liking them.

  I give her a questionable glance as I push my brows together and ask slowly, “You can? How, when we only just met a few seconds ago?” I laugh as I fold my arms nervously across my chest and shift my weight from my left foot to my right.

  “I know, because, first of all, you’re wearing a Rugrats t-shirt. And I love the Rugrats!” she shrieks with excitement once again as she flings her hands out towards my shirt my parents got me for my birthday. She’s an explosion of contagious energy. I can’t help but find myself relaxing with every passing moment I spend standing here with them.

  Within seconds, we’re deep in discussion over the Rugrats and every other show we love to watch. I learned Delilah is in fact the same age as me, and her brother is two years older than us. When I told her the teacher that was on my school letter, she was bummed, because we’re not in the same class. But we agreed the school year is over in two weeks, and then we’ll have all summer to play together.

  Lawson, spotting a friend coming towards their driveway, takes that as his excuse to escape his sister and me.

  “It was nice meeting you,” he says flashing me one more heart-stopping smile before jogging across the yard to meet a kid who looks about the same age as him.

  I shout, “You too,” at him with a goofy grin plastered across my face.

  The entire time we sit on the stairs talking, I find my eyes roaming over to Lawson. Every once in a while, I catch him watching me too. I don’t know why, but I feel giddy over the fact that he keeps stealing glances back at me.

  I’ve had crushes on boys at my last school, and even had a boyfriend—if you can even call him that—for a little while, but never an older boy. Two years may not seem like a big age gap, but for an eight-year-old, it might as well be ten years. Older boys are so mean and stuck up. They look down on us and act like we’re these little annoying brats. But since I got here, now thirty minutes ago, not once has he made me feel that way.

  I thought there was no possible way a boy here would even give me a second look. I’ve read too many books and watched way too many shows where the new girl is hated by all and used as a form of entertainment for the cruel bullies—but I’m suddenly thinking maybe that won’t be the case after all.

  One can only hope.

  Making some friends right off the bat seemed impossible five minutes ago, but now I’m thinking maybe, just maybe, moving here won’t be as hard as I thought. Especially with Lawson living right next door. And even though she is a little too bubbly, I like Delilah.

  I’m normally exactly like she is: bursting with energy, friendly to everyone. But I’ve been too busy moping around having my own little pity-party that I don’t even know where that girl went.

  I think in no time she’ll resurface, especially if Lawson keeps flicking my pigtails and flashing that special smile my way every time he sees me.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Present time

  Luckily for me, Lawson never came into the café and Delilah didn’t notice him. I, of course, couldn’t take my eyes away from him, especially after Tucker said goodbye and grabbed a coffee before heading to the firehouse. Lawson crossed the street and disappeared into their mother’s florist shop.

  By the time we finished drinking our coffees and eating our muffins, he was running back across the street to his bike. When he climbed onto it and started putting his helmet on, I quickly diverted my eyes back to my cell, which I’d been pretending to check emails on while Delilah talked on the phone with her wedding planner. I breathed a sigh of relief when he drove away.

  I’m not ready to see him just yet. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be, but with the wedding preparations kicking into high gear, it’s going to be impossible to avoid him for much longer. At least for now, I have a little more time.

  The rest of the day went by smoothly. We drove around to a few different towns, checking out yard sales and thrift shops, trying to find the perfect rustic pieces to complete Delilah’s wedding reception vision. She seems pleased with our finds. I can’t believe how fast it’s approaching. I’m just glad we got everything done today, because there is no way she is going to get me to do this again next weekend, because I have her surprise bachelorette getaway all booked.

  Finally, at almost nine o’clock, we pull up to her house. I freeze in my seat when I spot the same sleek black Harley in her driveway.

  “Shit,” Delilah curses as she eyes the bike and then me. “I’m sorry. He must’ve stopped by to hang out with Grayson.”

  I shake my head slowly as I retrieve my purse resting between my feet. “Don’t worry about it. I’m tired anyways, so I’m just going to head home. I’ll call you in the morning before church,” I tell her as

  I unbuckle my seatbelt and push open the passenger door. It’s a warm, muggy night. The second my feet hit the ground, I feel the thick, hot air wrap around me, causing my sundress to stick to my body.

  Delilah gets out and slams her door before making her way around to the trunk to collect the boxes full of vases she found today. “I hate this. What is going to happen the day of my wedding, or the days before, when we have the rehearsal dinner and decorating? I wish you two could just talk and get some kind of closure or something. It’s been four years. You guys can’t avoid each other forever.”

  “I know. I will. I’m just not ready yet.” I keep my eyes focused inside the trunk as I dig a box out. “I don’t want you to stress about this. Your wedding is going to be perfect. Trust me. I promise I’ll set up a day sometime this week to meet with him and try to get us to a place where things at least won’t be too awkward.”

  Slamming the trunk shut, she props the box on her hip and gives me a weak smile. “Thank you. I know how hard this is for you, but Lawson is a good person, Emelyn. He just made a mistake, one he has to live with forever. He made some pretty crappy choices afterwards, but believe me when I tell you he’s regretted hurting you every single day since you moved back here.”

  I give her a half-hug, trying not to drop the box in my other hand along with the one she’s holding onto. “I know. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about him. I just don’t think I can ever truly forgive him. He broke my heart, Dee, the on
e guy I thought would be the last person to ever hurt me. I just need some more time.”

  We make our way down her small driveway, past Lawson’s bike and Grayson’s pickup truck, and climb the red brick steps that lead up to her porch. “I’ll just leave these here and you can have one of the guys bring them in, okay?” I suggest, setting the box down on her wicker loveseat.

  My heart is racing against my chest as I think about Lawson being on the other side of that door. I wonder what he’s doing, and if he’s thought about me at all since coming back here. Delilah lives in her Granny’s old house, the same house we played at so many times after school growing up. We used to get a kick out of driving Lawson absolutely mad as we chased him and his friends around.

  It’s crazy how our life has changed so drastically over these last several years. If only we got a redo and were able to turn back time. Lily would still be alive, and Lawson and I would still be together—at least I hope we’d be.

  “Text me when you get home. After mass tomorrow, we can grab our coffees to go and get back here to clean these gems up. What do ya say?” She eyes the boxes, gives me a cheeky grin, and then bounces her perfectly shaped eyebrows up and down playfully. I love how she can better my mood without trying. She is truly my best friend in every way.

  “Sounds like the perfect Sunday afternoon. Goodnight, girly. Tell Grayson I said hello,” I pause for a moment, and I don’t know why, but I before I can clamp my mouth shut, the words fly from my lips, “and Lawson too, I guess.”

  A look of shock flashes across Delilah’s face for a moment before she quickly reels herself back in. A big all-teeth smile dances across her lips at me as she grips the doorknob. “Will do. Bye!”

  I practically sprint to my car before I do something crazy, like walk into her house and see him.

  I slide into the driver’s seat, start the car, and shift into reverse. I glance up at the house before I back up, and when I do, I spot deep hazel eyes peeking out through the blinds at my car.

  Immediately, my heart lunges into my throat and I panic, backing up too fast and not paying attention to where I’m going, and I end up knocking down Delilah’s trashcans.

  “Really?” I blurt out as I pull up alongside the curb and park my car. Delilah and Grayson come running out onto the porch as I’m climbing out of my seat.

  “What the hell happened?” she shouts down to me, cupping her hands around her mouth.

  “I didn’t notice your trashcans is what happened! You really need to find a better place to keep these damn things,” I snap at her and feel bad as soon as I do, but I’m frazzled and feel as if my head is about to explode as it fills with memories of Lawson and me. They continuously flash behind my eyes, tormenting me.

  “Leave it, Emelyn. I’ll clean it up,” Grayson says as he makes his way down the driveway towards me. He has a sympathetic look on his face and it pisses me off. I don’t need to be pitied. I’m sick of being looked at as the poor girl whose boyfriend killed one of her best friends, then after having all of her hopes and dreams stripped away, he dumped her. Everyone in this town looks at me with pity, even after four years, and it infuriates me. I’ve moved on; they all need to too.

  “It’s fine. I can do it,” I tell him as I lean down and lift the recycling bin right-side-up.

  He reaches out and grabs my arm gently. “Emelyn, it’s okay. I got this. Go home. You girls have had a long day shopping. I don’t even want to think about the hit my bank account probably took today, but the smile on her face is worth every dime.”

  I let out a sigh and drop my shoulders in defeat. “I’m really sorry.” I turn and look at my car and feel relieved it too is okay. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Night, Dee!” I shout up towards the house and give her a small wave.

  “Night, chicka. Now get your ass home; we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.”

  Laughing, I give Grayson a hug goodbye. “Your future wife is a slave driver I tell you. That girl is going to exhaust me before we even get to your wedding day.”

  Feeling embarrassed and flustered, I drive the ten minute distance home with my radio blasting Eric Church’s Springsteen as I try to drown out the voices of my past filling my head.

  By the time I get into my apartment, I’m ready to crash. I’m just brushing my teeth before going to bed when I hear my phone playing 1994 by Jason Aldean. It’s my current flavor of the month. I cannot listen to this song enough, and drive everyone at work crazy, because when it goes off, I let it play out as I sing along. It’s set as my ringtone for incoming calls and texts, so I only know someone is sending me a message if it plays just a few seconds, cutting off partway through the song.

  I rinse my mouth and pad across the bathroom, into my bedroom, and grab my phone off my nightstand. Glancing at it, I see it’s a text from Tucker. Usually I’d be annoyed he’s reaching out to me again, but I think right now he’s the distraction I need to get me through these next two weeks.

  Opening the text I read,

  Have dinner with me tomorrow night. Before u say no, let me just tell u I’ll grovel if needed.

  I bite back a smile and text him back.

  Okay…but it’s JUST dinner!

  My phone vibrates as he responds within seconds of me hitting send.

  Wow. That was way 2 easy. Ur not yanking my chain, r u?

  A small giggle escapes my lips.

  As serious as a heart attack ;)

  I slide under the covers and snuggle against my mountain of pillows as I wait for him to reply.

  Well, how about 7 tomorrow?

  I should be done helping Delilah by then; plus, once she hears I’m going out to dinner with Tucker, I think she’ll shove me out the door regardless.

  7 is perfect. G’night.

  A yawn escapes me as I roll onto my side and turn off my bedside lamp. Tucker texts back goodnight, so I set my phone on the stand, double-checking to make sure my alarm is set before finally lying down to fall asleep.

  The only thing is…as I close my eyes, I don’t see Tucker’s hazel eyes and mega-watt smile reflecting back at me. I see Lawson. No matter how hard I try to push him from my thoughts, he’s stuck there and refuses to leave. Hopefully dinner with Tucker will be exactly what I need to get my head back on straight.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Lawson

  I’ve honored Emelyn’s wish for four years. No matter how hard it was and how many times I’ve wanted to say screw it and show up at her door, begging for a chance to make things right, I’ve stayed away. I come home every year just for Christmas. Other than that, I’ve stayed in Tuscaloosa and avoided Lincoln and Emelyn.

  There isn’t a single second that passes when she doesn’t cross my mind. I think about how badly I messed everything up, all because I made a stupid mistake. It was a mistake that cost Lily her life and cost me the girl I’ve loved since I was ten years old, since the day our new minister moved in next door to us, along with his wife and daughter, who just happened to be Emelyn Marie LaClaire. Her name was just as beautiful as she was. I knew the second I met her that she was the girl I wanted to spend my life with.

  Sure, I was only ten, and she was just eight, but I knew the moment I saw her running up to my sister and me, who were sitting out on our porch watching them move in, that love at first sight existed. She looked adorable with her long brown hair in pigtails and small freckles sprinkled across her nose. She had the brightest green eyes I’d ever seen, and the softest and sweetest voice.

  Last year at my sister’s house, when I was down visiting for the holidays, I couldn’t believe it when I saw a picture of her and saw she was almost completely blonde now. Her dark hair was a mixture of blonde and brown, and instead of being down to almost her butt like it’d been our whole lives, it was cut off just below her shoulders.

  She’s changed so much in the four years we’ve been apart. I’ve gone from knowing everything there is to know about her, to her being a complete stranger to me now. Delilah told me Emelyn w
orks for the local pediatrician. She always wanted to be a doctor and help kids. I hate she had to settle for being a nurse, but I’m glad she’s happy with what she’s doing with her life.

  On my way into town, I stopped by my mother’s flower shop to order a wreath for Lily’s gravestone. I haven’t been to it since her funeral. With my sister’s wedding only two weeks away and knowing I’ll be seeing Emelyn again, it got me thinking about Lily and the accident. I had a rough time after that horrible night. After a year of self-destructive behavior and almost getting kicked out of college my senior year, my father took measures into his own hands and made me see a shrink. I was against it at first, but over time, I came to understand it was what I needed.

  After the accident, I believed I didn’t deserve to live or be happy. I pushed Emelyn away and treated my coach, teammates, and friends like shit. I did it all because I hated myself for driving that night. If I’d never gotten behind the wheel of my truck drunk when we left the party, Lily would still be alive and Emelyn and I would’ve gone on with our lives together and happy.